


Somewhere I Belong

by WarlockWriter



Series: Salvation 'Verse [10]
Category: Supernatural, The Agency (TV 2001), The Evil Gene (2015)
Genre: Asexual Character, Case Fic, First Dates, M/M, Polyamory, Psychological Trauma, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 14:48:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20584265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarlockWriter/pseuds/WarlockWriter
Summary: Gabriel has decided to finally make his feelings for Lex clear. By asking Sam to tell Lex? Really, Gabe? But can Lex believe it's real?Even if it is real, there's still a long journey for Lex to finally find somewhere to belong.Fills the Trauma Recovery and Kidnapped squares of the Gabriel Bingo 2019Many thanks to Masterpiece of Turkey Cleverness for the beta read. Twice. The second time after I made a major change to the planned future of this multiverse. Also, thanks to ScrollingKingfisher who read an early draft and gave me advice on how to strengthen the beginning. I'm lucky to have such supportive people in my life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Salvation Verse note:
> 
> The original plan for this Verse was, after this story, to bring Bill and Sarah into Gabriel's universe to teach them to hunt. Negotiations, the "final" story in this series, followed that. However, once Gabriel decided he wanted to go after Michael (which will happen after this story), I realized I needed to change things. Negotiations is now a part of a Salvation AU that probably won't ever happen. But it's still a good story, so read it! (Yes, I know. There is now a multiverse AU of an AU. No, I can't make things simple.)
> 
> Lex shipping note:
> 
> My original plan for this Verse was to ship Lex with Jody. I still think that would have been a good ship. Too bad Gabriel made it VERY clear that Lex was his. Possessive archangel messes up all my plans!

“Lex, got a minute?”

Lex glanced up at Sam from his laptop where he was finishing up with a fake ID for a Hunter out in Colorado. “Sure. Let me finish this?”

“Of course,” Sam said, sitting down in the library chair opposite Lex.

It had been a couple of weeks since the big throw down with Michael. Now that the other hunters knew about Lex and his computer skills, everyone was asking him for fake IDs and other things. Griff occasionally grumbled that he hardly ever saw his partner. But, grumbles aside, they hadn’t neglected their own hunting. Griff and Lex had been on two hunts since the big fight, including their first vampires. That hunt had convinced Lex that he needed to start working out. Decapitating vampires was hard, and he’d been barely strong enough to do it.

“Is that for Billy?” Sam asked.

Billy was a hunter out west, who covered most of California and Oregon. He’d been one of new ones Jody had recruited and trained after the whole British Men of Letters thing.

“Yeah. He thinks he's found a werewolf pack.”

Sam straightened. “Does he need help?”

Lex shook his head as he finished inserting Billy's information in the Fish and Wildlife database. “He says there are a couple of other Hunters coming to help him.”

“Good. Let him know if they are in over their heads, one of us could come out to help.”

Lex hoped they didn’t need help. The Bunker was short-staffed at the moment. Dean and Cas were still visiting Castiel, and no one expected them back anytime soon, what with the newness of their bond. Jack was busy figuring out how to run Heaven. Which, based on the few reports they had received, mostly involved Jack being annoyed at the other angels and how inflexible they were being. Sam had gone on one hunt, backed up by Gabriel, but Lex and Griff had been stepping carefully around the archangel. Something had him on edge. He’d gone to Heaven a few times to advise Jack, but he always came back quickly, and he and Sam had spent a lot of time in their room.

The two newest Hunters had speculated, but knew they were lacking information.

Of course, Lex couldn’t say anything about that to Sam, so all he said was, “I will if they say they need help.” He finished and closed his laptop. “So what did you want to talk about?”

“It's Gabriel.”

Lex felt a chill crawl down his spine. Maybe some of his and Griff’s more paranoid suppositions were true? “Is he all right? Something is wrong?”

Sam shook his head. “No. He's fine. I didn't mean to worry you. It's just…”

He trailed off, and Lex had the impression he wasn't sure how to say what he'd come here to say. “You know how I'm mated to this super powerful archangel?”

Lex definitely heard the snark in Sam's voice, but he wasn't sure what it meant. “Uh, yes.”

“Well,” Sam continued. “Sometimes he can be a bit of a drama queen. Like now.” Sam sighed and finally got to the point. “Gabriel is attracted to you and would like to date you.”

Shock replaced confusion, especially since the grace in his chest chose that moment to jump and get warmer. Lex really wasn't sure what to make of that. Either the reaction of his grace or Gabriel? The archangel? Who already had a mate? His eyes flew to the vivid bite mark on Sam’s collarbone. The one he never tried to hide. Which had appeared soon after they’d finished with Michael. And was refreshed on a regular basis.

Once he found his voice, he asked, “Uh. Two questions. Why? And how come you're the one telling me this?” Because seriously. This was starting to sound like high school and Lex had hated high school. Especially the dating scene.

Sam laughed, but it seemed more aimed at himself than Lex's questions. “Let me answer the second one first. I know he's told you some of what he went through with Asmodeus. But I know he didn't tell you everything. Nor do you know how much he's still affected by it. He probably looks basically fine to you, but he's still got a lot of anxieties you don't see.”

That made sense. Lex had his own issues he tried not to let anyone else see.

“Add in his family crap, and to say he's got a fear of rejection would be a massive understatement.”

Lex thought he got it, although he wasn't sure he could believe it. “He wanted you to ask because hearing a no from you would be easier than hearing it directly from me?”

“Pretty much.”

“Okay, but I'm still stuck on the why. I mean, he's got you. And are you even okay with this? But back to the why. I'm just a hacker and an okay Hunter. I'm nothing special.” He motioned to Sam. “I mean, look at you. You're hot and amazing at pretty much everything and you're this crazy Winchester legend.” Over the last few weeks that he'd been providing backup to Hunters, he'd heard stories. He motioned to himself. “And I'm just this.”

Sam reached out and took Lex's hands in his large, callused ones. They felt good. “Lex. You are totally underselling yourself. You're definitely not ‘just this.’ What you can do on a computer is amazing. You analyze and put things together fast. Even with just having learned the lore, you've made some great calls. And your bots for finding hunts are brilliant. There's so much in you to be attracted to.”

Lex supposed so. But this was sounding way too much like, “I really like you for your mind.” Which was nice, but left him wanting.

So of course that's when Sam raked his eyes up and down of what he could see of Lex. “And that ain't hard to look at either.” He gave Lex a wink and a grin. “But I might be biased to the look.”

Lex felt himself blush a little. Okay, yes, he liked that. “Uh. Yeah. But since Gabriel looks pretty much exactly like me, I'm not sure that applies to him.”

Sam frowned. “Gabriel is certainly attracted to the physical. He convinced me that I am something special.”

“You are,” Lex interjected. And then felt totally embarrassed for having said it.

Sam winked at him. “So what I'm hearing is that being with both of us wouldn't be a hardship for you?”

Lex would have cheered if a werewolf, or even a demon, had burst into the library just then. But he rallied with a wink and what he hoped was a cheeky, “Nope. Not a hardship at all.”

“Good to know,” Sam said, humor still in his voice, although it turned serious with his next words. “But seriously, like I said, Gabe certainly appreciates the physical, but I get the impression from him that he's cuing into something else too. Something more intangible that maybe only he can see. Also, I'm not sure how much he thinks about what his vessel looks like. Obviously he knows you look like him, but, if it makes any sense, I don't think he's as aware of it as you might be thinking.” Sam gave Lex a long, contemplative look which went on long enough to make him a little uncomfortable. Finally, he said, “Now that we are on the subject, I'm not sure I really see him in you. You're both distinct to me. Griff too. I've known you all long enough that I rarely get any of you confused with each other.”

Lex hadn't thought about it, but now that Sam mentioned it, Griff and Gabriel were distinct to him also. Apparently he'd hadn't been in Bill and Sarah's universe long enough for that to happen. Bill and Griff had always looked very similar to him, and he'd confused them more than once, whereas he hadn't confused Gabriel and Griff in a while. Well, except for that one time Gabriel had thought it would be really funny to slightly alter his appearance, and he had joined Lex at breakfast and imitated Griff to perfection. Lex had been completely fooled until Griff had joined them.

“Very funny, Gabriel,” had been all the laconic ex-FBI agent had said on his beeline to the coffee maker.

Lex had been embarrassed to be around Griff for several days after that until his partner had assured him it was all right and that Gabriel really had imitated him well.

“Anyway,” Sam was saying. “I don't think appearance is as important to him as you might be thinking. But is it an issue for you?”

Oddly enough, it wasn't, which was weird when he thought about it. He wasn't unhappy about how he looked, but it was like somehow his familiar features combined with Gabriel's personality and...he didn't know how to describe it--angelness?--whatever...made him very attractive to Lex. He'd been admiring the angel and trying to hide it pretty much the entire time he'd been living here.

“No. I mean I'm kind of embarrassed to admit it to you, but I found him pretty hot from almost the beginning. Even when I met him as Loki years ago.”

“So you're willing?” Sam asked.

Lex couldn't believe he was saying this to Gabriel’s bonded mate, but yes, he wanted it. In fact, he was surprised by how badly he wanted it. “Yes, I'm willing. If I'm being honest, I'm more than willing.”

Sam smiled. “I’m glad. Gabe has wanted it pretty badly.”

Lex was still having a hard time believing it, but he was glad Sam was okay with it. Although… “Uh, if this goes...I don't know. Well? What does that mean, exactly? And are you okay with whatever that is?”

Sam's smile didn't slip at all. “Do you mean, are we looking at a potential threesome? Or OT3 if we want to use a fanfic term?”

Lex was pretty sure all the blood in his body rushed to his face. He was quite familiar with fanfic since Gabriel loved to read stories out loud. Usually the bad ones, but every so often he read some good ones. Including the ones with smut. Currently he was on a “Team Free Love” kick. Which embarrassed everyone in the Bunker. Except Griff, who just shrugged and managed to appear as if he was above it all. But since a few choice phrases came back to him in that moment, all Lex could manage was a weak nod.

“Don't worry,” Sam said. “I admit I'm not as attracted to you as Gabriel is, but…” He leaned over and gave Lex a kiss, full on the mouth, surprising him too much to kiss back.

Sam didn't hold the kiss for long, just enough to let Lex know he meant it. “I think it won’t take me long to catch up.”

With that he stood up and strode out of the room. Lex watched him go, letting himself openly admire the tall man’s ass for the first time.

***  
Once Sam had left, Lex started doubting everything that had just happened. It couldn't really be real, right?

Since he'd been living in the Bunker, he'd gotten in the habit of talking to Griff when he needed a different perspective. So he got up and went looking.

Griff was easy enough to find; all he did was follow his sense of Gabriel’s grace in Griff. His partner was better than him at using the grace to sense things. Apparently Griff had been slightly psychic before Gabriel gave him a tiny bit of his grace, and now it was making his ability stronger. Sam remembered enough of his time with psychic powers that he, along with Gabriel, had been training him.

However, Lex could always find Griff, as long as they weren't separated by too much distance. He left the library and followed his sense of his partner to the Danger Room where Griff was using the firing range. The firing range that was enspelled to not allow bullets to leave the lane, even if deliberately fired in the wrong direction.

Griff was firing pistol, and by the look of it, he'd fired most of his daily 100 rounds. No one in the Bunker could beat him at pistol, and he was excellent with rifle as well, although Dean came close. Lex knew it bugged his partner that he could never come close to the elder Winchester with shotgun.

Lex was competent with a shotgun and was improving with pistol, but he'd never be in their category, and he wasn't intending to try. Griff, however, was serious and scheduled range time every day they were at home.

Which, he realized, this place had become. It was home now, and these people were the closest he had to family.

Griff finished emptying his magazine, put down the pistol and took off his ear protection. “What's got you all tied up in knots, Lex?” He turned around, his eyes distant, and frowned. “What did Gabriel do this time?”

“That’s creepy, man.”

Griff shrugged. “Sam wants me to practice, and you're handy. Plus, you are giving off anxious vibes like I've never felt before.” He grinned. “Gabriel grab and kiss you in the hallway or what?”

Lex sighed, eyeing Griff's pistol. Maybe he needed to burn through a box of ammo too. Maybe it would calm him down. “Not exactly, but close.”

Griff raised an eyebrow as he gathered his stuff and moved to the table that held all the cleaning supplies. “Do tell.”

Lex handed him the gun oil. “Sam came to tell me that Gabriel wants to...I don't know...date me?”

“Date you? What are we? High school?”

Lex found himself blushing for the...how many times was it now? “Well what else do I call it?”

“Wild archangel sex?”

That didn't help the blush.

Griff gave him a look. “So you're finally admitting your attraction to him?”

Oh no! “You knew?”

“Dude, the way you look at him when you don't think anyone is looking?”

Shit! “Does the whole Bunker know then?”

Griff shook his head. “I doubt it. I noticed because you're my partner and I keep an eye on you.” He grinned. “You and I are the only ones who don't have mates to focus on. And it sounds like if Gabriel gets his way, it'll just be me.”

“Oh, I seriously doubt Gabriel is thinking of bonding me. That’s for Sam. I figure, at best, I'm an itch to scratch.” Sam had sort of indicated otherwise, but Lex was certain he had read it wrong. Sam and Gabriel were obviously intended to be together. You just had to watch the way they always knew where the other was. And the looks they gave each other. Like there was no one else around, and they didn't care if anyone else saw. There was no way they had room for a slightly used hacker in that.

“I'm not sure I agree with you, but assuming you are right, are you okay with just being an itch?”

Lex knew what the answer should be. He should have enough self worth to want to hold out for something more. However, he couldn't deny that he wanted a taste of what Sam and Gabriel had. But could he admit that to Griff?

Finally he decided if he couldn't admit it to his partner, who was as close to him as a brother, there was no one who could say it to, and he didn’t want to keep it to himself. “Yeah, I am. I mean, I probably shouldn't be, but I want it pretty badly. It's not just the sex, although I'm thinking that would be great. It's having someone want me like that. It's been too long.”

Griff nodded, as if that had been what he'd expected. “Then why are you so anxious about it? Gabriel wants you. Sam was the one who told you--and what was up with that?--so obviously he's okay with it. Sounds like all you need to do is reach out and take it.”

“I know. The logical part of me knows that. But I still can't help feeling like I'd be intruding.”

Griff threw up his hands and went back to cleaning his pistol. “Man, if you are so determined to make yourself miserable, go ahead, but I think you're being an idiot if you do.”

Lex always listened to his partner. Griff was sensible and had a good perspective. Being a little psychic didn’t hurt either. “Okay,” he finally said. “As usual, you're probably right.”

“Damn straight!”

Lex smiled at him and left the Danger Room. He wasn't sure where to find Gabriel, but there weren't that many places the archangel hung out. As long as he wasn't in his room, where no one but Sam went, he'd find him eventually.

***

He should have guessed the archangel wouldn’t be difficult to find. Lex came out of the Danger Room and headed down the hallway to Dean’s Cave, figuring the angel might be there since he was still binge watching all the CW shows. He was currently on _Supernatural_, which everyone else refused to watch.

Turning the corner, he saw Gabriel leaning against the wall, left foot propped behind him. He was wearing tight black jeans and a cream button down shirt, the top two buttons undone. Lex’s mouth went dry, and his cock twitched in his jeans. The grace jumped again in his chest. This time he was pretty sure what that meant.

Gabriel raised his head, looking at Lex from under lowered eyebrows. Something about the lighting in the hallway made his eyes glow golden. Lex knew they were basically the same eyes that stared back at him in his mirror, but on the archangel, they were more intense.

“Lex.” His voice was more growl than speech.

Lex shivered, but something about the scene seemed off to him. Most of his body language screamed confidence, but Lex looked again with the training he’d received from Terri, Stiles and even Joshua. And he saw it. There was a brittleness to his posture, as if he was trying too hard.

So Sam had been right. Gabriel had been afraid of rejection and perhaps still was. Maybe that explained why he’d been on edge the last couple of weeks? Swallowing back his own nerves, he walked forward, adding a bit of a strut to his step. “I hear you have something you wanted to say to me.”

Gabriel lifted his head, eyes glowing even more. The tension in his body increased. Lex stopped in front of the archangel, hoping his expression came across as more challenging than nervous. “So tell me.”

“Meet me in the War Room at 7 pm tonight.”

With that, he walked off. Lex thought he could see a hint of his wings. And wow. The “War Room” was an awkward place to meet someone for a date. But this was his world now, wasn’t it?


	2. Rooftop Rendezvous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell from the chapter title, the date scene was loosely influenced by the Jason Manns song. Which, I got him to sing even though he said he wouldn't!

Gabriel entered his room, knowing he’d find Sam there. His mate was on their bed, reading.

“How’d it go?” Sam asked.

“I told him to meet me at the War Room this evening. I have plans.”

Sam glanced up. “What’s wrong?”

Gabriel scowled at him. “What do you mean? Nothing I said indicated anything was wrong.”

“True, but I’m sensing it from you anyway.”

While he loved his bond with Sam, Gabriel had to admit it had its inconveniences, like how he couldn’t hide much from his entirely too observant mate.

“It’s part of what you love about me.”

Which was the truth. Gabriel sat down at the foot of the bed. “Something’s not right with our Lex.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “_Our_ Lex? Shouldn’t you at least take him out once before you start referring to him as that?”

Gabriel stared at the pattern on the coverlet. Wasn’t it time to change things around in here?

_You’re stalling. And you changed the colors in here just last week. When you finally decided it was time to talk to Lex._ A pause. _Or rather you decided to have me talk to him._

Gabriel sighed. Sam was right. He was stalling. Because what he had seen in Lex left him twitchy. “I don’t like what I’m seeing in his soul.”

Sam scooted forward to engulf his mate in strong arms. Gabriel leaned into the embrace, needing it and wishing he didn’t. Sam was right. Outwardly, he was fine. His grace was well on its way to being recharged. His wings were back, thanks to using Sam’s soul to heal them, as much as he’d hated having to do that. If he still had occasional difficulty meeting people’s eyes directly, well, he could avoid situations where that was an issue. He was an archangel, and most people didn’t want to meet his eyes directly anyway. And he was making progress on the sex front. But he still had lingering anxieties that never quite went away. Hence his needing to ask Sam to talk to Lex when he nearly had a panic attack at the thought of doing it himself.

At least he could let down his guard while in here.

“Are you going to invite Lex in here?” Sam asked, having followed his thoughts with ease and long practice.

“Not right away,” Gabriel said without hesitation. “I still need this place to be just yours and mine.”

“Okay. That’s fair. So what’s up with Lex?”

Gabriel could sense his concern through their link, which was good. While he wanted Lex, he wouldn’t do anything to mess with what he had with Sam. “He has a shadow on his soul.”

“While that sounds bad, want to explain it in a way a non-angel can understand?”

Gabriel sighed. “It’s the remnants of an old pain, but it means that pain is still affecting him now.”

“Huh,” Sam huffed against his back. “Do I have one too?”

Gabriel shifted to look at his mate. “Why do you ask?”

“Lucifer. Hell years in the Cage. I don’t know. Those all sound like old pain to me.” His voice was easy, which should have given Sam his answer.

However, Gabriel answered it anyway. “Yes, those things happened, and, while they will always affect you, no they don’t shadow your soul. Not now. The final bit of shadow vanished when Castiel killed my brother.”

While he was glad for his mate, he still hated that his brother had needed to die. And he missed him.

Sam held him a little tighter. “I’m sorry about that.”

“I know that you don’t miss him and never will. That’s fine.”

If all went well, when Dean and Cas got back, they’d start to figure out if and how to get this world’s Michael out of the Cage.

“But enough about me,” Sam said. “Back to Lex. So his pain is still affecting him. Do you know what it is? And can we do anything about it?”

“No to the former, and I’m not sure about the latter.”

“I suppose you could ask him while you’re on this date--the substance of which you have still not shared with me.”

Gabriel shook his head. “Not date talk material.” He turned into Sam’s broad chest and huffed out a sigh before saying, “And that’s not all.”

“It never is with you.” Sam’s voice was full of affection.

“Did I ever tell you that I don’t experience time in a linear fashion, unlike you?”

“I’m not sure you have,” Sam replied.

“I can’t exactly see the future clearly, but I do get glimpses and impressions. Lex doesn’t just have a shadow. He has ties on his soul to other people.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know.” Gabriel’s voice was full of frustration. “In some futures, there are two, and in at least one, there are three.”

“Our Lex gets around,” Sam said in an obvious attempt to lighten the mood.

Gabriel wasn’t having it. “Sometimes those others get him, and I don’t. And in several, I can glimpse his death in the near future.”

Sam planted a soft kiss on his angel’s head. “Are any of those in this future?”

“I don’t know.” And it was true. He didn’t. That fact was eating at him.

“Then you can’t worry about it. We keep an eye on him and do what we can to make sure he doesn’t die. But if those...others have a claim on him, then I’m not sure what we can do but accept it. If they are better for him than we are?”

Gabriel was thrilled that Sam was using “we” in this conversation. While simultaneously wanting to smite these “others” who might have a claim on his Lex.

“He’s not yours yet,” Sam reminded him.

Also true. Which also made him want to smite something. His blade almost dropped into his hand.

Sam stroked his arm, and the blade vanished. “Enough of that, my mate. We will do what we can, but if Lex isn’t meant for us, then…”

“I need to accept that,” Gabriel said with a growl. “But I don’t have to like it.”

“No, you don’t,” Sam agreed. “And, my archangel, I don’t know of many who are more skilled at seduction, either. If you want him, make that very clear.”

Gabriel smiled. Now that he could do. “Have I mentioned how lucky I am to have bonded you?”

Sam laughed. “Not recently enough. Why don’t you show me again?”

Also something he could do. Which he proceeded to prove by pleasuring Sam with hands and mouth until he screamed Gabriel’s name.

Perhaps some more upgrades to the sound proofing were in order?

***

Lex walked into the War Room a few minutes before 7. He had no idea what to expect, Gabriel having given him no hints. He wasn’t even sure what to wear and had gone back and forth through the few clothes he had. He’d decided he needed to upgrade his wardrobe since about all he had were a few pairs of jeans, one suit, various button down shirts and a few tees, most of which had sentimental value, and were never worn on hunts.

Griff had fussed at him to “just pick something already,” and Lex had finally settled on a pair of white slacks he’d forgotten he’d packed and a cream-colored button down that was similar to the one Gabriel had been wearing earlier. He finished the outfit with a black jacket he’d had for years. Terri had always loved that jacket on him, and he’d kept it, taking it out only for special occasions.

He supposed a first date counted.

“Not sure it’s entirely appropriate to wear something that reminds you of a dead co-worker,” Griff had said. The words had been sarcastic, but his tone had been gentle and understanding.

“Think Terri would approve of me going out with an archangel?”

Griff had huffed out a laugh. “I’m not sure _I_ approve of you dating an archangel.”

Lex hadn’t been able to argue with that. He wasn’t sure this was a good idea. Not just the archangel part. Both Sam and Dean were involved with archangels, and they didn’t seem the worse for it. But even though Gabriel had initiated this and Sam had been the one to ask, Lex still felt like he was horning in on something.

“You’re thinking too much,” came the voice from behind him.

Lex turned to see Gabriel approaching from the library. He hadn’t changed from earlier, and Lex sighed internally in relief. He hadn’t messed up with his attire.

“Don’t tell me you can read my mind too? It’s bad enough when Griff does it.”

Gabriel chuckled. “No.” He paused. “Well, technically I could if you were thinking at me. That’s like praying, and I can hear those if I listen for them. But no, I wasn’t listening for you. I’ve just got a lot of experience reading human body language.”

Right. Because he needed more reminders that he was definitely not dating someone of his own species.

However, he shoved those thoughts away. “So where are we going?”

Gabriel held out a hand, challenge in his amber eyes. Lex hesitated only for a second before reaching out to take it.

And they flew.

Lex had travelled a few times by Angel Air but only once with Gabriel, and flying with the archangel was different. Smoother than flying with Cas or even Jack.

They landed on a rooftop. Lex recognized the skyline immediately. “D.C.?” Then he looked more closely at what they overlooked. “Really, Gabriel? Dupont Circle? Cliche much?”

The angel shrugged and motioned him to a...blanket? And was that a picnic basket?

“We’re having a picnic on a rooftop?” He sat on the blanket and knew Gabriel had used grace because it was soft and comfortable.

“Why not?” Gabriel sat down beside him, close enough that Lex could feel the heat coming off his body. Vessel? He realized he wasn’t certain of the correct terminology.

“I don’t know. Just not quite what I had expected is all.”

Gabriel rummaged in the basket and started pulling out food. Cheese. Crackers. Little chocolates. Wine and glasses. Lex was amused by how normal it all seemed. But he accepted a glass of wine and a small plate of cheese and crackers. He nibbled and found everything to be excellent, which didn’t surprise him. This was Gabriel, and he’d been with him long enough to learn that he preferred the fine things. Not that he wouldn’t enjoy cheap fast food as much as the good stuff.

Sitting up here, in what used to be his hometown, had him feeling melancholy, though. He drank a gulp of wine, hoping a bit of a buzz would change his mood. This was supposed to be fun, wasn’t it?

“You’re thinking too much again,” Gabriel said as he wrapped an arm around Lex’s shoulders.

Lex sighed. “Yeah, I know. This city brings back memories, some of them happier than others.”

“Surely meeting me for the first time is a good one?” Humor laced his voice.

Lex had to smile at that. Yes, having “Loki” prank Holland, who had tormented him too many times, had been fun. And a good memory. “True. That is a good one.”

“Hmm. But not good enough to shift the mood. So want to talk about one of the not-so-good ones?”

“It’s hardly a date topic,” Lex said before hastily swallowing some more wine. It was an excellent blush. Strong too. He’d have to be careful if he didn’t want Gabriel to carry him home and put him to bed.

The angel chuckled. “I just had this conversation with Sam.” Then he sighed. “Look. Lex. Something is eating at you. While I’d rather this were a light, fun occasion, if you need to talk, I’m here.”

Lex surprised himself by leaning into Gabriel’s embrace. “I guess maybe I do. Maybe you need to know some of this stuff before you decide to go any further. I might not be dating material.”

“Doubting that, but feel free to share. I’ll listen.”

Lex nibbled a cracker and finished the wine in his glass. Gabriel poured him another glass, but he refrained from drinking any more just yet. “Had kind of a bad experience with a girlfriend about a decade ago. It’s made me shy to date again. I’m not sure how over it I am, to be honest.”

He’d tried dating after Olivia, but every time he’d gotten far enough along to maybe think about having sex, he’d flash back to waking up in her apartment and the horror of seeing her bruised face. He’d told himself repeatedly that he should talk to someone about it, but he never got up the nerve to talk to a stranger about the experience, even one trained to talk him through it.

“Tell me?” Gabriel’s voice was warm, gentle and inviting, and Lex found himself talking about it for the first time in years.

“I was dating this girl. She was certifiably crazy, but, man was the sex good. Anyway, I finally had to break it off with her. She was getting into stalker crazy area. I was out with my friends, drinking. She showed up. I did way too many shots and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in her apartment. Her face was bruised and she was telling me I’d raped her.”

“Which you hadn’t,” Gabriel said, no doubt in his voice. “She’d set you up for something.”

Lex turned to look at him. The angel's expression was sympathetic. “How’d you know? Were you still watching me?”

Gabriel shook his head. “No. I know you, Lex. You’d never do something like that.”

Lex made a scoffing sound. “Plenty of people didn’t feel that way. They took away my computer!” He still wasn’t over that. “Anyway, it was a setup. You’re right. Someone wanted me to give up information I was supposed to keep quiet about. It all worked out, and my name was cleared, but I still get flashbacks about it. Usually at inconvenient times.”

“Just with women or with men too?” Gabriel asked.

Lex felt himself blush. “Um. It’s been decades since I was with a guy. College, I think.”

Gabriel shifted until his mouth was right next to Lex’s ear. “We’ll have to do something about that then.” The angel’s breath was hot in his ear, and Lex felt himself stir. No flashback so far.

“But that’s not all that’s bothering you, I think,” Gabriel said, pulling back to put a bit of distance between them.

Lex immediately missed him. However, he said, “No. You’re right. I lost two people who were important to me a few months after that. And it was my fault. If I’d done my job better, they’d be alive now.” His words came out with a hitching breath, and he knew he’d start crying if he didn’t get a hold on his emotions.

Gabriel held him tight. “I also doubt that. I’ve watched you work. You are nothing if not thorough.”

“You watch me?” Lex said, trying to focus on the conversation and not on how much he was still missing Terri and Stiles.

“Of course. You’re beautiful when you’re working. All that focus, drive and attention.”

Lex wasn’t sure anyone had ever called him beautiful before, and he wasn’t quite sure what to do with that.

“Look,” Gabriel said. “I definitely understand what it’s like to lose people who are important to you.”

Lex guessed that was true since apparently almost all the angels in Heaven had died or something. Which was why Jack had recruited angels from the other universe to help repopulate Heaven. Lex realized he’d been so busy learning to hunt that he hadn’t even thought about them.

“But,” Gabriel continued. “Sometimes you need to let go. Or rather, let them go. Don’t forget them but don’t beat yourself up about what happened. Or what you think you should or should not have done. You can’t go back and change it.”

Lex sighed. “I know that. It doesn’t make it any easier, though.”

“Never gets easier to lose someone. I should know.”

“So what do you do to deal with it, Gabriel?”

The angel settled back on his elbows, and Lex followed him down. “Remember them and try to focus on the good memories?”

“Does it work?”

“Sometimes,” he said.

“That’s not very helpful.” He thought for a moment. “You’re the one who has talked to a supposed God. Somehow I thought you might have a better answer.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him. “Supposed God?”

Lex should have known better than to say anything. “I’m still an atheist.”

Gabriel burst into laughter. When he could speak again, he motioned to himself. “Umm. You do remember that I’m an Archangel, right?”

Lex shook his head. “I do know. And that’s what Griff keeps telling me.” He shrugged. “But I’ve had that belief for too long. I’m finding it hard to change it.”

Gabriel snorted. “And I’m not sure meeting my Dad would change your mind much, so maybe it’s fair.”

Suddenly Lex wanted to change the conversational topic. “So, have I frightened you off? I mean, still pretty messed up around dating and relationships.”

He expected Gabriel to make light of it, but the angel didn’t. “I’m pretty tough to frighten off, but maybe you need to know some things about me.”

Lex turned on his side and made himself comfortable on one elbow and placing his free hand on Gabriel’s chest. “You listened to me. Only fair for me to do the same.”

“Not comparing trauma, okay?”

Uh oh. “Sure. I mean, as you said, archangel. So it stands to reason your trauma might be bigger than mine.”

“That’s not exactly what I was getting at, but okay. Maybe I should just dive in. I told you and Griff something of what happened to me with Asmodeus.”

“Yeah, torture for lots of years. You didn’t go into much detail, but I guess I can make some assumptions.”

Gabriel shifted on the blanket. “And most of them are probably correct. The two things most relevant to the current situation is that he drained my grace. That’s why I was so low on power leading up to the Michael battle. He also...conditioned...me thoroughly. Basically robbed me of my ability to speak and taught me not to look him in the eyes. I’m mostly recovered from those, but when I’m under stress, they will still pop out.”

“Okay. Be careful about meeting your eyes and if your words vanish, I know why.”

Gabriel turned his head and met Lex’s gaze for several seconds. “I can do it if I’m determined enough.”

Lex found himself lost in the play of moonlight in the angel’s amber depths. He could definitely spend plenty of time looking, if allowed.

Gabriel looked away long before Lex was ready, but he accepted it. His eyes dropped to the angel’s neck, where he saw the twin to the mark on Sam’s neck. He wondered. Would he ever wear a similar mark?

Gabriel was still speaking, and he forced his attention back to him.

“And the torture included… Well it included most forms of debasement and degradation.”

Right. Asmodeus raped him. Repeatedly. And Gabriel still had a hard time calling it what it was. Understandable.

“So I’ve had some difficulties with certain...acts in the bedroom.”

Lex smoothed his hand down the angel’s chest. “Whatever you can do is fine with me.” He blushed, fearing he’d assumed too much. “Umm. Yeah. I probably shouldn’t have said that because it kind of sounded like maybe I was…”

Gabriel gave him one of the brightest smiles Lex could remember seeing. “Don’t apologize. I was sort of hinting that might be a thing. If you were interested.”

Relief flowed through him. Okay, he hadn’t screwed that up. “It might be too early for me to say a wholehearted yes, but someday? I think so.”

“Good. How about this, then?” Gabriel leaned forward, making his intentions quite plain. Lex knew he had plenty of time to back away if he wanted to. But he didn’t want to. He was curious.

Their lips met, and, yes, it was everything Lex had thought it would be, when he’d allowed himself to think...or dream...about it. The angel tasted of wine and chocolate, with an overlay of something he couldn’t identify. Angelness? But he knew he liked it, and he leaned closer, wanting more of it. Gabriel obliged, reaching out to cup Lex’s head in one strong hand. He nibbled at Lex’s lips, and he opened up eagerly. Gabriel’s tongue made a slow search of his mouth, unerringly finding spots that made him shiver. He’d thought Sam’s kiss very good, but this was so much better.

He hoped he wasn’t screwing up too badly. It had been years since he’d kissed anyone, but he fell back into the rhythm easily enough. Gabriel invited him in, and Lex deepened the kiss, trying to find spots to make the angel shudder. The wet slide of lips and tongue warmed both of them.

They didn’t kiss long, breaking apart after just a minute or so. Gabriel tugged Lex closer, settling the hacker with his head on Gabriel’s chest. Lex was surprised to feel a steady heartbeat under his cheek. He’d seen the angel breathe, but something so mundane as a heartbeat just seemed odd, making him realize again how little he knew about this ancient being.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Gabriel asked, his voice a pleasant rumble beneath him.

“Probably not worth that much. I was just surprised that you had a heartbeat. It seems so...I don’t know? Human?”

“Vessels are bodies and need most of the same things you do. Oh, I can function without food, air or water in a pinch, sustaining it off of my grace. But why do that if I don’t have to? It’s designed to act like a human body. Might as well.”

Lex wasn’t sure how to ask the next question. “You said Griff, Bill and I were potential vessels for you, right?”

“Right.”

“I know you said you didn’t need any of us. That your current vessel is fine. But if you did...I don’t know? Inhabit one of us? Would we still be there?”

Gabriel’s hand was playing with his hair, and it almost distracted him from the question. It had been a long time since he’d been touched like that. “You would be. It would be up to you how...aware you were. Some vessels have a working partnership with their angel. That’s what Joseph and I had, until he died about a year ago. The time with Asmodeus drove him insane, and...well, I wasn’t strong enough to keep him alive after I got free.”

“I’m sorry.”

Gabriel sighed under him. “We’d had a good partnership going. He’d been with me for a very long time. Had a similar sense of humor as me, and he helped me with pranks.” His voice grew sad. “I miss him. It’s not the same being in an empty vessel.” Then his voice brightened. “On the other hand, with the bond to Sam, I’m never alone.”

Lex wondered, not for the first time, what the bond was like. He wanted to ask, but he didn’t know if it was crossing some line. He’d been out of the dating game for so long that he wasn’t even sure where the lines were anymore.

_To be fair_, came an inner voice that sounded a lot like Griff, _pretty sure dating your doppelgänger who’s soul bond mated to another guy isn’t in the regular dating manual anyway._

Good point. Which now made him feel even more out of his league.

“I wasn’t thinking that this would end anywhere in particular tonight,” Gabriel said. “So don’t feel like you’re under any pressure or expectation.”

He found himself relaxing at that. The kiss had been very nice, and he’d be open to more of them, but he didn’t feel ready for anything further. “Thanks.” He hesitated. “Um. More of this? And maybe some more kissing?”

He felt lips on the top of his head. “Whatever you want, Lex.”

Lex relaxed against the angel, enjoying the contact. This was nice. He could definitely use more of this.

He lost track of how long they spent on their rooftop rendezvous, but he enjoyed every minute of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Masterpiece of Turkey Cleverness for the "dating manual" line. XD


	3. Chapter 3

The night was quiet as Griff picked the lock on the old house. Lex was behind him, covering him with his shotgun. The lock picks slipped, and Griff suppressed a sigh. This usually went much easier.

He glanced up and over the top of the house. An orange, full moon hung in the sky, almost touching the horizon. Craters cut sharp lines in the surface. It didn’t look a bit like cheese, and Griff shivered a little. Had the moon always looked so evil to him?

“Hurry up,” Lex said from behind him.

“Working on it,” Griff said, keeping his voice low, not wanting to attract the moon’s attention.

Finally, the lock gave, and Griff stood up.

They walked down the hall. Griff had his shotgun in his hands. But where were the lock picks? Hadn’t he been holding them a minute ago?

Diffuse moonlight filtered through the windows, giving them just enough light to see with. Luckily, Gabriel’s grace gave them an advantage there.

He moved along the hallway, his steps oddly hesitant. He felt like he was moving through thick jelly and hoped they wouldn’t have to run from...what were they hunting anyway? A restless spirit? Shifter?

He heard footsteps behind him. That was Lex. It had to be. Did he still have his shotgun? Of course, he did. His partner was backing him up, as they’d done so many times before. Griff liked hunting with the Winchesters, but Lex was still his favorite person to hunt with. The hacker wasn’t as good with lore or weapons, but he _fit_ with Griff in a way none of the others did. Maybe it was the shared grace, but Griff felt safer with Lex at his back than with anyone else.

A scream sounded behind him, and he whirled, expecting to see...what were they hunting again?

What he saw was much worse.

Lex was behind him, and he did have his shotgun ready, but instead of the look of focused attention, his face wore a twisted grin. His eyes were solid demon black. He raised the shotgun, pointing it at Griff’s chest.

Griff screamed himself awake.

And shit, he was on the floor, cowering in the corner. He hated when that happened. He got up and climbed back into bed, where he lay, panting. That was the second time he’d had that dream, and it was the worst. Demons were bad enough. They hadn’t hunted any yet, and he dreaded the first time they encountered them in this universe. However, seeing demon black in his partner’s eyes? Right now, he couldn’t think of a worse sight.

Sighing, he rolled over on his right side, forcing himself to face away from the door. There were no demons in the Bunker. He knew that. Even though he knew he’d not be able to get back to sleep tonight, he wasn’t going to lie awake facing the door, reassuring himself that nothing was creeping up behind him. He was a Hunter and a former FBI agent. He could sleep with his back to a god damned door!

The door creaked open, and he couldn’t help himself. He rolled over, grabbing the angel blade he slept with under his pillow.

“Easy, Griff,” Lex said from the doorway. “It’s just me.”

The hacker was in boxers, hair sticking in every direction. His eyes were half closed.

Griff put the blade back under his pillow. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

Lex entered the room and sat down on the bed. “It’s okay. I hadn’t been asleep that long, I don’t think.”

Even though the horror of the dream hadn’t left him yet, Griff managed a weak smile. “Your date with Gabriel go well?”

Lex’s smile was sleepy but sincere. “Yeah. It did. We...didn’t really do anything but kiss and talk, but that was nice. I haven’t had that kind of contact with anyone in a while.”

Griff lay back on the bed. “I’m glad to hear it.” His psychic abilities were still hit or miss, but he could read Lex better than anyone else, and he’d sensed his partner’s loneliness.

“Scoot over,” Lex said. “Make room.”

“You don’t need to stay,” Griff protested.

“Maybe I don’t want to sleep alone,” Lex said.

Griff sighed and moved over. He did want Lex to bunk down with him. He slept so much better with someone at his back. But it didn’t sit well with him to be so dependent on his partner. However, after that dream, he’d take it. He rolled back on his right side, trusting Lex to guard his back. Lex got under the blankets and settled against Griff’s back, casually throwing an arm over him. They’d done this often enough since moving into the Bunker that Griff knew it wouldn’t get weird, even though he knew Lex was looking for someone to love.

“What’d you dream about this time?” Lex asked.

“You with demon eyes.”

Lex shuddered against his back. “Okay, yeah. That’s pretty bad. I see why that one woke you up.”

“I just wish I could do it without screaming and waking everyone up.”

Lex tightened his grip around Griff’s waist. “Man, I think everyone in this place gets nightmares. With being in Hell or tortured by Asmodeus, who hasn’t had plenty to have nightmares about?”

That was true. “What about you?” Griff realized he’d never asked that of his partner.

Lex didn’t answer for a long moment. Finally, he said, “I told you about the girlfriend who framed me for rape. And my friends who died. Oh, and the suicidal pilot. Those are pretty much it for me. Nothing like demons or Hell.”

Griff heard an all-too familiar self-loathing in Lex’s voice. “None of that, partner. You know better than to compare your pain to anyone else’s.”

Lex sighed against his back. “I know. But it’s hard to stop.”

They lay in silence for a while. Griff was able to relax but still not quite get enough to go to sleep. He could tell from Lex’s breathing that he was awake too.

“Griff?” Lex said, his voice pitched low enough that it wouldn’t have awakened him if he’d still been asleep.

“Yeah.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Griff couldn’t imagine Lex asking him anything he wouldn’t be willing to answer.

“If things go where I hope they will with Gabriel, you’re going to be the only one not in some sort of relationship. Is that going to be a problem for you?”

Lex sounded worried, and Griff smiled, glad his partner couldn’t see it. He’d probably misinterpret it. “It’s fine. I’m not really looking for a relationship like that.”

“You’re not?” Worry had been replaced by honest surprise.

Griff wasn’t sure how to answer that. He knew Lex wouldn’t judge him. But would he understand? And did Griff know how to explain it to him? “I’m not really interested in sex. Or a romantic relationship. Not my thing.”

Everyone in the Bunker was open about having an active sex life, and Griff had basically learned to ignore “all the gay going on around him.”

“Huh,” Lex said. “Because of that Dana person?”

It was the logical assumption but Griff was pretty sure it wasn’t the real reason. He hadn’t explained it to anyone before, so he wasn’t sure how to describe what he felt.

“It’s okay, man,” Lex said. “You don’t have to explain, if you don’t want to. It’s none of my business.”

Griff shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I don’t mind telling you. You’re my partner. I can tell you pretty much anything. I’ve just never tried to talk about this with anyone, and I don’t quite know how to go about it.”

Lex tightened his grip on Griff. “Take your time.” Of course that’s when he yawned.

“Want to sleep?” Griff asked, with a smile at his partner’s timing.

“Nope. You go. Don’t mind me.”

Griff settled himself more comfortably on his pillow. He felt he’d manage this conversation better if he wasn’t looking at anyone, even Lex. “Okay. When I was a teenager, I didn’t really date. I mean, sure I went to prom with a girl.” He paused, trying to remember her name. “Sally Beaumont, I think was her name. Anyway, a couple of girls wanted to go out with me, and I did. We kissed and fooled around some, but I didn’t really get why everyone was all obsessed with it. Was nice, I guess, but it didn’t do much for me.”

“High school is a terrible place to date,” Lex said. “Trust me. I remember how bad it usually was.”

“Yeah. Then I joined the Army, and everyone assumed I wanted to chase girls in my very limited free time. All the other guys...well the single ones at least...were talking about it, but I never felt the need. Then I joined the Bureau and there was this one agent, Becky Summers, who was pretty determined that she wanted to date me.

“I went along with it, and we even got physical. She was surprised that I was still a virgin at 27, but I think she secretly enjoyed it. Too bad I didn’t. I mean, yes, we had sex, and yes, I came, but I didn’t see the point. Kissing I could handle. I could touch her breasts if I geared myself up for it, but anything else? Nope. I just couldn’t really get into it.

“She got tired of me pretty quickly, and we broke up. I was just as happy about it. Well, except for her being a bitch about it and telling everyone I was a stand-offish prude. I’m no prude. I can talk about anything. I’ve worked sex crimes, and yeah, you end up making jokes to survive those, but I just don’t want sex.” He shrugged. “Not sure what that says about me.”

Lex shifted against his back. “Is it just sex? What about romantic relationships? Feel like you want one of those? Or are you happy with just friendships?”

It sounded like Lex was asking the question for a reason, so Griff hoped that meant his partner had some sort of insight. “Nope. I’m good without those too.”

He felt Lex nodding. “That makes sense. I think you’re an aromantic asexual.”

Griff turned on his back to look at his partner. “Huh?”

Lex looked awake now. Griff could just see him with the light coming from the hallway. “Asexual is the term for someone who doesn’t feel sexual attraction for other people. Some are actually repulsed by sex. Others just don’t feel the desire for it.”

Griff thought about that for a minute. It seemed to make sense. “So it’s a thing?”

“Definitely. I don’t know how many people identify as asexual, but there are others out there.”

Griff was a bit hesitant to ask his next question, but Lex seemed to know something about this. “What about masturbation? Because I do that sometimes. Mostly to relax and try to get back to sleep after a nightmare.” _So I don’t have to bother you every time._ But he didn’t want to say that part. And he had always done it sometimes. But did that mean he wasn’t asexual? He hoped it didn’t. He kind of liked having something to call himself.

Lex gave him a smile, full of affection. “Yeah, man. Some do. Some don’t.” He frowned, as if he was thinking. “If I remember correctly, asexuals make a distinction between sexual attraction--finding someone hot and desirable--and sex drive, which is the desire or need to get off and is a normal body function. Asexuals may not have both but some do have a sex drive. Although, I think they generally do it less often that those of us who aren’t asexual.”

Griff noticed Lex’s voice remained light and completely non judgemental. “Okay. I think that does make sense and probably is me. What was the other word you used?”

“Aromantic. Which means you don’t need or desire romantic relationships. You’re fine with strong friendships.”

That definitely fit.

“Some aromantics and asexuals don’t want much or any physical contact, while some are fine with hugging, cuddling and the like.” Lex grinned at him and motioned to the two of them. “That’s you. You’re cool with the cuddling.”

Griff found himself blushing because, yes, he did very much like physical contact. He hated the nightmares, but he did sometimes enjoy having Lex come in to sleep next to him. Did that make him weak?

Lex reached out to boop his nose. “None of that, man. I’m pretty big on contact too, and, if you weren’t around, I’d be touch starved. I had that for damn near a decade, and I don’t want to go back to it. So, anytime you want me to bunk with you, just ask.” He grinned. “Also, I have this feeling that Gabriel will cuddle just about anyone, anytime, if you asked.”

“But he’s got Sam!” He couldn’t imagine asking the archangel for anything as mundane as a hug, much less cuddling.

“Sam goes on hunts without Gabriel sometimes. You know that he prefers not to use his powers for the easy stuff.”

“True.”

He ran everything Lex had just said around in his head. It all made sense. Having something to call himself made sense. “But I almost think I might find a woman attractive, under the right circumstances. I mean, I’ve almost been attracted a couple of times. Not enough to do anything about it, but a little bit.”

“Still doesn’t mean you aren’t asexual. You might be gray, which, if I remember correctly, is feeling desire once in a while, just not often. And, from what you’ve said, it’s only to women.” Another grin. “Which must be tough for you with all the gay going on around here.”

Griff was amused Lex had echoed his exact words. “I’m learning to ignore or put up with it. And I don’t mind that other people are getting it. I just don’t want it myself.”

“There you go. It’s all good, man. There’s a name for your identity.”

“How do you know all of this?” Griff knew that Lex had wide interests, but from the way he’d been reacting to Gabriel and Sam almost from the beginning, he knew none of this applied to his partner.

Now Lex did look away.

“What?”

“Well, after Olivia...I really lost interest in sex. For a long time. And I tried to date once or twice, but...it didn’t work out. So I went looking for answers.”

“But you’re not,” Griff said. His psychic senses told him Lex was definitely into Gabriel and Sam.

Lex shook his head. “No, I’m not. Even when I didn’t want to have sex, I’d look. I’d see a guy or a woman, and a part of me would go _I’d do that_. It wasn’t enough for me to try to hit on them, but it was enough that I knew I still felt sexual attraction.” He shrugged. “I guess I just needed time.”

“And you think Gabe’s it for you?”

“I hope so. I think so.” He sighed. “I mean, I still don’t have a clue why an archangel who has someone like Sam would be interested in me, but he’s pretty insistent that he is.”

“Then go for it.”

Lex nodded. “Yeah. I’m going to. I mean, I’ve never really been in a long term relationship, and I’m kind of nervous I’m going to fuck this up, but I do want to try.”

Griff reached over to pat him on the arm. “You’ll do fine, man. I’m sure Gabriel will make allowances, and Sam seems like he’s cool with just about anything. As long as you don’t hurt his brother or his angel.”

Lex put his hand over Griff’s and shook his head. “Yeah, no. I’d never do anything to hurt either of them.”

“So you’re good.” Griff yawned, suddenly feeling sleepy.

“You ready to crash again?” Lex asked.

“Think so. Thank you.” He rolled over on his side and got comfortable on his pillow.

“Anytime.” Lex waited for him to get settled and then slotted in against his back.

Griff smiled. Asexual. Aromantic. He had names. He liked that. And Lex was cool with it and willing to cuddle when he needed. So he pretty much had everything he needed right here.


	4. Chapter 4

Lex and Gabriel went on another date a few days later. It was nothing fancy, just the usual dinner and a movie thing. Well, the date idea wasn’t fancy. What was fancy was Gabriel flying them to Los Angeles for the premiere of _Captain Marvel_. Which was pretty much the most incredible thing ever. Made even better when Gabriel introduced him to Chris Evans.

“How do you know Chris Evans?” Lex whispered after they moved off from the brief conversation. He was pretty sure he’d never wash his hand again. Sure, he was more of a Tony Stark guy, but who didn’t like Chris Evans? The man was hot!

“You do know I used to work in pornos, right?”

Lex’s eyes widened. “Chris Evans has never done pornos!”

Gabriel’s eyes twinkled. “No, he hasn’t. But have you seen the racy photo shoot he did? That was one of my photographers, and the guy owed me. So he brought me along. Chris was still pretty young then, not as famous, and we hit it off.”

Lex’s eyes got even wider.

“As friends, Lex. As friends. Not that I wouldn’t do that if given the chance--or I would have before I bonded Sam---but I wasn’t looking at the time, and we just had dinner a few times. Nice guy. Pretty much exactly as you see in the interviews.”

Lex was amazed at how much there still was to learn about the archangel.

That date didn’t move past kissing either, and Lex was still fine with that. He was enjoying the getting to know each other stage of the relationship and wasn’t in a big hurry. A part of him was still convinced he’d screw it up, and somehow it seemed easier if sex wasn’t in the picture yet.

They had one more date planned, but, before they could go on it, one of Lex’s bots popped up with a possible case. He read the news report and started nodding.

“Guys, I think this is one of ours.”

Dean and Cas were still on their visit with Castiel, but Sam, Gabe and Griff all showed up in the library to hear about it. Griff stood behind Lex to read over his shoulder.

“Three deaths. Okay, those are weird. A falling chandelier in a house--remind you of anything, Lex?”

Lex grinned. “You mean your awesome shot that slowed down a pack of demons? Oh yeah.”

Griff snorted. “It was two demons. Hardly a pack.”

“Still awesome.”

“Ahem,” Gabriel interrupted from his sprawl on Sam’s lap. “Case now. Back patting later.”

“Right,” Griff said and kept on reading. “Then one guy dies when he...seriously? Trips over a raised bit of sidewalk and falls into the street?”

“A sidewalk that had been fixed the week before and shouldn’t have had any uneven bits,” Lex clarified.

“And this last one? A sinkhole appears in the middle of a field and swallows up a guy?”

Sam was frowning. “That almost sounds like a Trickster.”

Gabriel was nodding. “It does, but trust me when I tell you there’s no Tricksters running around at the moment.”

“You sure?” Sam asked.

Gabriel made an exaggerated motion, clapping his hand to his chest. “Sam! You wound me. Of course I’m sure. I keep an ‘eye’ out for that kind of energy in the world. If anyone tries to step into that gig, they’ll get words from me.”

“Not nice words, I assume?” Griff asked.

“Definitely not nice words.” Gabriel craned his neck to look back at Sam. “See, respect from someone.”

Sam shut him up with a long kiss.

Griff and Lex exchanged mock-disgusted looks, but Lex was secretly taking notes. He might have a chance to use that technique some day.

“Anyway,” Gabriel said when Sam let him speak again. “It does sound like a case.”

Lex nodded to Griff. “Want to take it, partner?” He was sorry to miss the date for tomorrow night--Gabriel had hinted it would be particularly good--but he also wanted to prove himself as a Hunter, and he was intrigued by the case.

“Sure,” Griff said. “I’ll go get packed.”

“Take Sam with you,” Gabriel said.

Everyone looked at him. “You sure?” Lex asked. “I’m pretty sure Griff and I can handle it.”

Gabriel’s expression was unusually solemn for someone who’d just been kissed into next week. “Yes. I’m sure. My angel senses are tingling.”

Sam laughed. “Teach us to take you to _Into the Spider Verse_.”

Gabriel shook his head. “No, I’m serious. Something is warning me you might need me. If Sam’s with you, he can call for help.”

“Then come with us,” Sam said.

Now Gabriel’s expression changed to bored. “Nah. I might be wrong. It might be nothing. I’d rather stay here and catch up on my shows.”

Lex still hadn’t figured out the angel’s criteria for going on a case. He’d definitely go if Sam didn’t have someone else to back him up. Otherwise, it seemed to be basically on a whim.

Sam kissed Gabriel again. “All right, lazy bones. But if you spoil me again for _Legends of Tomorrow_, there will be consequences.”

“Like no blow jobs for a week?” Gabriel’s eyes were wide and horrified.

“Pretty much,” Sam said, a twinkle in his eyes.

“Guys, get a room,” Griff said grumpily.

“We are in a room!” both Sam and Gabriel said in unison.

“A different room!” Griff shot back, but Lex knew he wasn’t serious. Having a name for his sexuality had made a difference. He’d always been accepting of Sam and Gabriel, but now he was more comfortable teasing along with them. It was like he didn’t feel any pressure to be like them and he could just be himself.

“All right, everyone,” Lex said, but with a smile. “If we’re going to get on this case, let’s get packed and go.”

Both Lex and Griff had hunting bags permanently packed. Once Lex stuffed his laptop into his tech backpack and had grabbed his shotgun, he was ready. He also took his angel blade from its place of honor on his wall. Gabriel and Sam had decided a couple of weeks ago that he’d earned one of his own, and he prized it. Carefully placing it in its sheath under the long black coat Gabriel had gifted him with, he was ready.

Griff had beaten him, as usual, since he had no tech to pack. Sam and Gabriel showed up a few minutes later. Lex noticed Sam’s jeans weren’t quite zipped, and he assumed there had a been a quick good-bye blow or hand job.

Gabriel gave Sam a lingering kiss before slapping the tall hunter on the ass and motioning him for the door. Lex started to follow, but the angel put out an arm to stop him. “What? You think you’re getting out of here without a kiss too?”

Lex felt his cheeks redden. He hadn’t expected to get his own kiss, but he was game. He leaned in to the angel and received a kiss that made him regret thinking “no sex” was the way to go at this point in the relationship.

Griff winked at him on the way by, but he was too distracted by Gabriel’s tongue practically down his throat to feel any embarrassment.

Gabriel finally let him go, and Lex’s legs were unsteady for a moment. The angel steadied him before whispering in his ear, “I am so looking forward to taking you to bed in the future.”

That didn’t help either the red in his cheeks or the slight hard-on he’d gotten. Just from one kiss! He couldn’t help imagining what sex would be like with him.

“Lex? Case? People to save?” Griff’s tone was amused.

“Right,” Lex managed to say.

They argued good-naturedly over which car to take, but Sam won out with the Impala, pointing out that he barely fit in Lex’s Civic.

The case was in Huntsville, AL and was going to be a long drive. Over fourteen hours. Lex started for the back seat, but Griff waved him to the front. “Nah. You might as well spend the time with your soon-to-be boyfriend.”

He spoke quietly enough that Lex didn’t think Sam could have heard, but he still blushed and lowered his head. Didn’t stop him from climbing into the front seat, though.

“Huntsville? Isn’t that close to where Sarah was from?” Griff asked.

Lex turned to face him. “No, she was from somewhere in Tennessee. But I think it’s not too far.” While he’d been creating bots to look for AU!Michael, he’d created a bot to see if there was a Sarah equivalent in this universe. There wasn’t, which was too bad. They probably wouldn’t have met her, not wanting to get her caught up in the hunting life, but Lex would have liked to know that she was here. Griff would have enjoyed that too, he thought.

Suddenly, he missed Bill and Sarah, but he’d asked Gabriel if it was possible to go visit them and had been told it wasn’t. The Gabriel in that universe had tolerated the one visit but would have issues if there were more.

Lex traded off with Sam after about five hours. While Dean never let him drive Baby, Sam wasn’t as particular. Griff finished the last leg of the drive, and they finally arrived after a long sixteen or so hours in the car. Lex had searched for hotels and had been delighted to find a Westin. Although when he checked room availability, he’d fussed over what he’d found.

“Seriously? Either a suite with a King and a sofa bed or two doubles? That’s the best they can come up with?”

Griff shook his head. “Two doubles is fine, Lex.”

“But Sam barely fits in a double!”

Sam laughed. “It’s fine, Lex. Don’t worry about it.”

“I could get us two King rooms.” Lex said.

“A double room is fine, Lex,” Sam said. “If Gabriel had a weird feeling about this case, I think it’s better that we’re in one room.”

Lex’s phone beeped, and he glanced down at it. It was a text from Griff.

_Want to sleep with Sam? ;)_

Lex rolled his eyes and glared at his partner. “Don’t text and drive, Griff.”

Sam laughed from the backseat. “What? Did he ask if you wanted to sleep with me?”

Lex reddened and turned his attention to his laptop, booking them the double room. Griff reached out and gripped his shoulder briefly. Lex gave a little huff and put away his laptop. He supposed he was in for a fair bit of ribbing until everything settled down with the relationship thing. Assuming it went anywhere.

They checked into the hotel and all agreed that naps were in order. Griff half-pushed Lex toward Sam’s bed, but the tall hunter laughed. “No thanks. If I have the bed to myself, I can sprawl out diagonally.”

Lex was relieved. He was pretty sure he wasn’t ready to do even tame sleeping with Sam, convinced he’d wake up with an erection. Which would be mortifying. That wasn’t a problem with Griff. He’d never seen his partner in that way, and now that he knew Griff was ace, he was glad. Things might have gotten awkward otherwise.

A few hours later, the sun was up and Lex felt refreshed enough to help plan their approach to the case.

“Want to cover the morgue, Lex, with Sam?” Griff asked. “I’ll do survivor interviews.”

While Griff was excellent at the interviews, Lex suspected the division of labor was more aimed at putting him together with Sam. He didn’t mind, though. He hated talking to grieving family members.

“Works for me,” was all he said.

Sam nodded from where he was putting on his suit. Lex tried not to sneak peeks, but it wasn’t easy. The tall man wore a suit very well.

Lex handed out the IDs he’d made in the car during the drive. Sam laughed at his. “Nick Carter? Really? You’re making me a Backstreet Boy?”

Lex grinned back at him. “I figured I’d update your band names a little bit.”

“Lex! They’re from the 90s,” Sam shot back.

“Still newer than most of the bands Dean uses.”

“Okay, true,” Same said, putting his badge in his inside jacket pocket.

Griff still had the badge Lex had made for him in the Jericho universe, and it was still under his real name. Lex put some effort in keeping that name under the radar because he knew how much that identity meant to his partner. It was his only link to his own universe and former life.

Lex had his usual fake ID in the name of “Alexander Hamilton.”

They made quick plans for Griff to drive Sam and Lex to the morgue while Griff kept the car for interviews. Griff dropped them off, and Lex got himself in the right frame of mind for investigation.

***

Griff drove slowly to the first house, planning his approach. As he pulled up to the curb, he took a moment to get in the right headspace. He touched his gun, snug in its under-the-shoulder holster and then his badge. He smiled, loving his partner for making it for him. He’d always be grateful to Lex for giving him back that piece of his identity.

Opening the door to the Impala, he climbed out, thinking as he often did that it was an odd car for FBI agents. How did the Winchesters not get caught out more often? He guessed people wanted to believe.

Straightening his suit jacket, he walked up to the house and knocked.

A middle-aged woman answered. “Yes, may I help you?”

Griff held up his badge, “Special Agent Griff Krenshaw, ma’am. If you have a minute, I have a few questions about Adam Wilson.”

Her eyes narrowed, but he thought it was in confusion, not anger. “My brother?”

Ah, she must be Kimberly. She’d been mentioned in the article Lex had found.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“But it was a freak accident,” she said. “How could the FBI be involved in that?”

He gave her a self-deprecating smile. “When you’re in hot water with your supervisor, it’s amazing what you get sent out to investigate.”

She gave him an understanding smile. “I’m sorry about that. Well, please come in. I’m Kimberly, by the way, but you can call me Kim.”

“Thank you very much, Kim.”

She motioned him into her house, and he glanced around quickly, getting a measure of the place. Nothing stood out immediately. It seemed to be a typical middle-income home with decent furniture but nothing special, except for the roll top desk in one corner of the living room. Griff was pretty sure it was an antique. Probably had nothing to do with the case, but it was unusual and he took note of it.

“May I get you anything to drink, Agent?” Kim asked.

“Water would be great, thank you,” he said.

She got up to get his water, and he used the time to look at the pictures on the TV cabinet. Typical family photos. He didn’t see anything that made him think Kimberly was married or had children, though. All the pictures of children had them next to other people, and Kimberly was off to the side in most of them, almost as if she were an afterthought in the frame. That was odd enough to take note of also.

There were a few pictures of Adam: swimming, graduating--from college?--and cooking out in a backyard. He seemed a normal enough guy.

Kimberly came back with a glass of water. Griff took it and sipped some to be polite.

“So what questions can I answer, Agent?”

Griff settled himself on one of the chairs, while Kimberly took the couch. He started with, “So were you there when the chandelier fell?”

She nodded. “I was. We were at the hotel trying to figure out arrangements for the wedding of a friend.”

“Other than it falling, did anything strike you as odd? People who didn’t look like they belonged? Strange odors? Cold spots?” He always felt silly asking those last two, but he’d learned they were the only ways to determine if they were dealing with a restless spirit. From the nature of the deaths, all three Hunters were thinking about poltergeists.

She did give him a sharp look at the last two, opened her mouth, started to say something and then stopped.

“What?” he asked. “Don’t worry if it sounds weird. I’ve heard all sorts of stuff.” And fought demons and archangels. Not that he was going to tell her that.

She started to speak, stopped, shrugged and finally said, “Well, since you ask, yes, there was this cold spot that I walked through, right under the chandelier. I was just past it and about to turn to ask Adam if he felt it too, and that’s when it fell.”

Griff took out his phone and took a few notes. Lex had finally convinced him to abandon his paper notebook and “come into the 20th century, dude!” So, a cold spot. That was making a poltergeist or other spirit more likely.

“Is that important?” she asked, watching him tap out a note.

“It might be. Really just gathering information at this point. I’ll sift through it later.”

“Okay.” She waited quietly while he finished his note.

“So there have been three odd deaths in Huntsville lately. Are you familiar with the other two?”

“You mean the sidewalk thing and the weird sinkhole?” she asked.

He nodded. Obviously she was.

“Both the others were friends of mine.” She paused before adding, “Well, casual acquaintances, I guess. But I did know them.”

Now this was getting interesting. “How did you know them?”

“We all went to school together. But they were all freak accidents. I mean, they can’t be related.”

Her tone of voice made it clear she was losing patience with this, and he put away his phone. He had something to start with and stood up. “I’m sure you’re right, ma’am. Thank you for your time.”

She stood up with him. “I wish I’d been able to help more.”

Griff smiled at her. “You’ve been helpful, and I appreciate it.”

Her brows drew down, and she didn’t look convinced, but she showed him to the door, and he walked to the car, wondering what he’d learn at the next interview.

***

Lex followed Sam into the morgue. The tall Hunter straightened his suit. “Shall we do this?”

“Let’s.”

As he often did when Hunting with Sam, Lex let the more experienced man handle the introductions and verbal dance to get access to the bodies and the autopsy reports. He did take mental notes. Griff was also good at this, but it was a skill Lex hadn’t quite managed yet. Oh, he knew the theory, but he often got his words mixed up, and he was fine with letting someone else do the talking.

Once they got access, though, he was in his element and checked out the reports, using his phone to take pictures of the relevant pages. Just in case they needed to refer to something later.

Unfortunately, the trip was mostly a waste. Everything on the bodies and in the reports matched the news reports, and nothing stood out. Sam couldn’t find anything odd that might indicate something supernatural. Lex couldn’t tease out anything suspicious. Everything was frustratingly normal.

“Anything, Lex?” Sam asked after examining the third victim. The first one had already been released and buried.

Lex shook his head, snapping a picture of the last report page. “No. It all adds up. Nothing weird that I’m seeing. Well other than how they died, but we already knew that.”

“That’s disappointing,” Sam said, his tone discouraged.

“Maybe Griff got something from his interviews,” Lex said hopefully.

“I hope so,” Sam said. “Otherwise, we’ve got nothing here.”

They put everything back and went outside. Lex called Griff but got no answer. “He’s probably in the middle of an interview.”

“Probably.” Sam was glancing around. “There’s a Starbucks. Let’s park there until he calls us back.”

“Good idea.” Lex had his iPad in his briefcase. Maybe he could do some research while they waited. Hopefully he’d find something to follow up on.

***

The second interview had been uncomfortable, but Griff had gotten a little more information. Unfortunately, he’d also had to put up with being hit on. He supposed she was pretty, but he was even less interested now than he would have been before he knew about being ace.

Fortunately, he’d learned that all three victims had a contact in common. Erin Nowkes. Erin had committed suicide just a few months earlier, which made her a candidate for a restless spirit.

In the final interview, he found out something even more interesting.

Erin had come out as asexual just a month before she’d killed herself. What were the odds that Griff would learn about asexuality just before a case where it would be relevant?

“Do you think her coming out had anything to do with her death?” he asked the man he was interviewing--Mark, the brother of the last victim.

The man hadn’t even hesitated. “I know it was. It was in her suicide note.”

Griff’s phone buzzed in his hand just then. _Lex._

“Do you need to take that?” the brother asked.

Griff shook his head. He’d call Lex back later. He wondered what they had found at the morgue.

“In her note. Had she been teased or tormented about it?”

“Absolutely. Some of the people in the town had been absolutely brutal about it.”

“Why?” Griff was genuinely curious. He didn’t understand homophobia, even though he knew it existed, but asexuality seemed pretty harmless. Not worthy of being brutal about.

The guy raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you kidding me, man? It’s weird and gross. I mean, who doesn’t like sex?”

“A lot of people, I understand,” he said, keeping his voice even with an effort. His next question was awkward but needed to be asked. “Are the people who died recently the ones who teased her about it?”

He was surprised when the man shook his head. “No. Adam had been cool about it, as had been my brother.” He frowned. “That bitch Eileen, though. She’d been one of the worst.”

Eileen had been the second victim. Griff wondered if Mark’s brother had really been as cool as Mark was indicating, but he had little to no reason to lie about Adam, the first victim. He’d been certain they were looking at a vengeful spirit, but now he had his doubts.

“Thank you, Mark. I appreciate your time.”

Griff made pleasantries and left for the car. As soon as he got in, he called Lex.

“Anything?” Lex asked when he picked up. “I hope you found something because we came up completely blank.”

“I think so,” Griff said. “Where are you, and I’ll come pick you up and fill you in?”

Lex gave him the address of the Starbucks, and Griff drove to meet them.

When he arrived, Lex handed him a big frappuccino in his favorite flavor, Triple Mocha. Griff savored it on the way to the Impala, handing the keys over to Sam as they walked.

“What did you learn, Griff?” Sam asked as they drove in the direction of the hotel.

“All the victims had someone in common. Erin Nowkes, who committed suicide a few months ago.”

“Vengeful spirit?” Lex asked.

“You’d think so. Apparently she killed herself because she’d come out as asexual and she was bullied pretty bad.”

“Sounds like a vengeful spirit then,” Sam said as he turned into the hotel parking lot.

“Well, that’s where things get less clear,” Griff said. “Only one of the victims bullied her. The other two were supposedly fine with it. So I’m thinking not vengeful.”

“Huh,” Sam said as he parked. “But salting and burning the body still should work.”

Griff was nodding. “That’s what I was thinking too.”

“So I’ll track down where Erin was buried and we can salt and burn her this evening,” Lex said. “Should be easy enough to find her.”

Sam and Griff agreed, and they all got out of the Impala and headed for their room to research and get ready for the evening’s activities.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to the Sam Needs Gabriel Discord server where y'all were a great help in figuring out the details of this hunt and the spirit.

Lex found Erin’s gravesite easily enough, and all three of them just chilled until it was dark enough to go salt and burn her bones. Sam read. Lex tweaked the coding on his bots. They seemed to be working well enough, but he was rarely satisfied. Plus, coding was soothing to him.

Griff napped, which worried Lex. His partner seemed to be getting better. He had more endurance than he’d had during the universe hopping thing and could hold down his end of a hunt, but he still slept too much during the day and not enough at night. Should they find him a therapist? Or meds? But, really, what could Griff talk about? Demons, restless spirits and archangels? He’d be committed immediately. Lex had already gotten him out of one mental hospital. He didn’t want to have to do it again.

As he usually did with this train of thought, he pushed it aside to deal with later. Surely Gabriel would do something if he thought Griff were in real danger. The angel did seem to have a soft spot for him. Shared trauma and abuse experiences and all.

The sun went down. They grabbed food and drove to the cemetery. Digging up graves was definitely one of Lex’s least favorite parts of Hunting, but he had to admit he was building up arm muscles he’d never had before. He thought he might even manage a six-pack some day. Who’d’ve thought a desk jockey like himself could ever be ripped?

Griff said he wanted to do the honors, and he dropped in the match. They all stood back, watching her burn. Griff mumbled something under his breath. Lex thought it was a prayer. Once the flames died down, they filled the grave back in and headed back to the hotel for a few hours sleep before driving back to Lebanon.

Lex was glad it had gone smoothly, but something still bugged him. Why had Gabriel thought he’d be needed? Were the archangel’s instincts that far off or had they missed something?

As they tossed their stuff into their trunk, Sam echoed his thoughts. “This all seem too easy to you?”

“Yeah,” Griff said. “If she were a vengeful spirit, why did she kill the people who hadn’t tormented her?”

That was the thought which had been knocking around in Lex’s head. He was hardly an expert, but he’d been on several restless spirit hunts. They were generally the easiest, and the Winchesters had sent them on almost every one that had come through. This didn’t add up.

“Do we want to stay around a little longer?” Sam asked.

Lex eyed Griff. He almost felt like this were a test. What was the right Hunter answer?

Griff was nodding. “Maybe we should. For a day at least? It’s a long drive back if we did miss something.”

Sam smiled at them. “I think you’re right. We haven’t checked out yet, and it’s a decent hotel. I can quiz you on lore after breakfast?”

Lex suppressed a groan. Sam’s lore quizzes were getting progressively harder. Lex was used to being a star student, and he hated not knowing the answers. But he needed to know the stuff, so he suffered through them.

They finished breakfast, and Griff said he wanted to go for a walk. He pulled Lex aside before he left.

“Honest, partner. This isn’t a way to push you and Sam together. I’m just feeling restless and I want to walk it off a bit.”

Lex gave him a reassuring smile. “I totally understand but thank you for letting me know.”

Griff started off and Lex sighed and sat down beside Sam, who was completely in teacher mode. Which Lex knew he shouldn’t find as hot as he did.

A bunch of questions later, Lex was wishing Griff were here. The ex-agent always did better on lore quizzes, which was frustrating, but it did mean all the pressure wasn’t on him. He was starting to fumble even relatively easy questions, and Sam asked, “You okay, Lex? I know you know that one.”

Lex shook his head. “I don’t know.” His head was starting to hurt. His heart was racing. He wondered if this was what a panic attack was like. But why would he be having a panic attack?

“Hasn’t Griff been gone a while?” Sam asked with a frown.

The mention of his partner’s name ramped up his anxiety to a whole new level. Lex put his head in his hands. He hurt so much. What the fuck? Just then, he heard Griff’s voice in his head. It was clear but sounded like it was coming from a great distance. _LEX! HELP!_

Lex moved. “Griff’s in trouble. Right now.”

He grabbed his coat, angel blade and shotgun, taking just enough time to stuff the weapons where they wouldn’t be visible. Sam was moving just as fast, shoving his gun into the small of his back and picking up the knife he always carried.

They dashed out of the hotel room and down the hall to the stairs. Lex wished his legs were longer as Sam took the stairs three at a time while he could only manage two. As soon as they were outside, Sam turned to him. “Do you know where he is?”

Lex paused, taking a deep breath. Sure, he could find Griff in the Bunker. But this was a fucking city. He could be anywhere.

_LEX!_

Shit! But at least he was still alive.

“Breathe, Lex,” Sam said. “Close your eyes. I know you can find him. Take deep breaths and find your sense of your partner.”

Sam was right. He could do this. He had to do this. Following Sam’s instructions, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and concentrated on his sense of Griff. The grace in his chest burned and seemed to bend in a particular direction. “This way.”

Sam followed his lead without question.

As Lex walked, he realized his anxiety had a direction to it. Which was odd, but there it was. He followed the sensation and the nudging of his grace to a small park, just off a walking trail around a small man-made pond.

Where he saw Griff, fighting a ghost...by a swing set? Seriously? He was moving back and forth, obviously trying to keep the swing between him and the ghost. As Lex watched, he grabbed the chain and swung it through the ghost, who vanished.

Laughing at the scene would be inappropriate, Lex knew. But truthfully, it was pretty funny, if you ignored the fact that Griff was in actual danger. However, a moment later, Lex realized what he was going to have to do to drive off the ghost, at least for the moment.

“You’re going to have to shoot it, Lex,” Sam said from beside him. “You’re the one with the shotgun, which I hope you have loaded with salt rounds.”

Yes, his shotgun was still loaded with salt rounds. He’d been trained better than that! They had been hunting ghosts, after all.

Griff came running over to them. “That’s one angry ghost. Salt and burn didn’t work!”

“Yeah, we noticed,” Lex said.

“Anyone got a shotgun?” Griff continued. “The swing doesn’t have enough iron in it to drive her off for long.”

Sighing, Lex pulled back his coat.

“Good!” Griff said.

“Griff! We’re in public!” Lex protested.

“Gotta do something. She’s pissed. Damn near killed me by pushing me in front of a car.”

Lex knew he was right. “Come with me then, since she seems to have it in for you.”

Sam followed, keeping watch behind them.

There was a small outbuilding near the edge of the park. It wouldn’t prevent anyone from hearing the shotgun go off, but it might give them enough cover to get away. Lex hurried toward it, leading the small procession. As soon as they got behind it, the ghost appeared, moving straight for Griff.

“Down,” Lex commanded.

Griff dropped to hands and knees, out of the way, but still ready to move. Lex fired, and the ghost dissipated.

“Now let’s get the hell out of here,” Lex said, stowing his shotgun back under his coat. “Hopefully that disrupted her long enough for us to get away and get Griff under some kind of warding.” He looked at Sam as they walked quickly toward their hotel and away from the park. “Um. There is some way to ward him, right? Otherwise, we’re screwed while we figure out why salting her didn’t work.”

Sam was looking across the park and smiling. “Yes, there is.” He ran over and came back holding a...hula hoop?

“What are you planning with that, Sam?” Griff asked, his tone suspicious.

“We’re going to hustle back to the car and fill this with salt.”

“You’re kidding? Right?” Griff asked.

“It’s just temporary. Until I can pull together a spell to ward you.”

Griff followed them, grumbling about how it was completely undignified for a grown man to run around wearing a salt-filled hula hoop. Lex reminded him that it was better than him being dead. That stopped the grumbling for a few minutes but not long.

The ghost did try to get to Griff a few times while Sam worked on the warding spell. Lex had been tasked with disrupting her, and he stayed near Griff with an iron poker from the back of the Impala. Every time she appeared, he swept the poker through her. While waiting for her to come back, he monitored police reports. Apparently someone had reported hearing gunfire near the park, but, as far as he could tell, they had no suspects.

Of course it was difficult to stay focused with the ghost appearing roughly every five minutes or so. Each time Lex sent her away, Griff would mumble, “Is Sam done yet?”

Each time, Lex said, “Not yet.”

It made for a tense hour until Sam finished the spell. They waited for about twenty minutes, but she never came back. Finally, Griff stepped out of the hula hoop. Still no ghost.

“I guess it worked,” Sam said.

“I hope so,” Griff said. “I’d rather not have to do that again.”

“We noticed!” both Lex and Sam said in unison.

Griff looked slightly abashed at that.

Now that his partner was safe, Lex said, “So apparently the salt and burn didn’t work.”

“Apparently,” Griff said. “But how did you guys find me? I was figuring I was pretty much doomed.”

Lex frowned at him. “You yelled for me.”

Griff frowned right back. “I did? I mean, sure, I kind of yelled for you in my head, but I didn’t think you’d actually hear it.”

“I did,” Lex said. “It took me a while to figure out what was happening. At first I just felt anxiety, but then I heard you in my head.”

“He took us right to you,” Sam said. His voice was full of pride. “Maybe I need to start working with you too, Lex. Perhaps you have a bit of psychic ability?”

Lex thought about it a minute. “I don’t think so. I think it’s just the weird bond Griff and I have through the shared grace. And maybe Griff’s psychic ability is strong enough to reach me? If there’s enough of a reason.”

Sam shrugged. “Could be. But either way, we still have a ghost problem.”

“Yes. Why’d she come after me, do you think?” Griff asked.

“Because you were the one who actually burned the body?” Lex asked. “You were the one who lit the match and threw it in?”

“I’m concerned about that,” Sam said. “But I’m equally concerned about why salting and burning her didn’t work.”

“Maybe we didn’t get all of her?” Lex suggested.

They all agreed that was a good possibility, and Sam and Lex both pulled up their laptop and tablet and started checking. Griff pulled out his phone and started reviewing the lore on ghosts.

“Based on the autopsy report,” Lex finally said, “I think we got all of her.”

Sam glanced up from his tablet. “I’ve gone through all the interviews, and no one mentioned any particular objects of significance to her. Doesn’t mean there aren’t any. I suppose we could interview the mom.”

“Guys,” Griff said. “I think I found something.”

Sam and Lex both looked at him. “What did you find?” Sam asked.

Griff was still looking at his phone. “Well, I was looking at the lore on ghosts, and I noticed something I’d seen before but not really paid attention to. But maybe it fits our ghost?” He handed the phone to Sam, who gave it a quick read and then handed it to Lex.

It was an entry on something called a “memorium.” Apparently they were unable to move on because of being angry about someone discovering their secret, then tried to kill everyone who remembered the secret.

“That explains why she killed people who were generally supportive of her,” Lex said. “That sounds right. Weird, but right. Wouldn’t have thought being found out as ace would be that traumatic, but then, I guess everyone reacts differently.”

“The brother of the one victim seemed to think it was pretty weird. I guess if she got enough grief about it?” Griff suggested.

“Ghosts aren’t always rational,” Sam pointed out. “Gives us something to work with, at least.”

“Yeah, but did you see what she needs to move on?” Griff asked, his tone grim.

Lex read the entry again, and he saw it. “Oh. They move on after everyone who remembered or knew about the secret is dead.”

“Yeah,” Griff said. “And we now fit that. So how do we get her to move on without, you know, killing ourselves?”

That was a really good question. And Lex had no idea.

***

They talked through options for a long while but had few ideas. Sam called Rowena who said, yes, there probably was a spell she could devise to make everyone who knew about Erin’s asexuality forget it, but she pointed out what they had already considered. The person performing the spell would have to be excluded or they couldn’t finish it. Which left one of them in a bind.

“I’m not sure how we get around this,” Griff said. “How long will the warding last? Can I go the rest of my life with a ghost trying to find me?”

Sam was shaking his head. “It will only last a few days. I mean, I guess you could refresh it every so often.”

“But one of you would ask eventually, and I’m not sure I could keep it from you forever,” Griff said.

“Exactly,” Sam said. “And as soon as you said something to one of us…”

“We’re back to where we are now,” Griff finished.

“Can we ask Gabriel for help?” Lex asked. “He said he thought we might need him. Is this us needing him?”

Sam’s expression was thoughtful, and a moment later, his eyes went unfocused for a minute before they cleared, and he smiled. “He’s on his way.”

A moment later, there was the sound of wings and Gabriel appeared. “Sam tells me you can’t get rid of a simple ghost without my help?” Mirth danced in the corners of his eyes, and Griff knew he was teasing them.

“Hardly a ‘simple’ ghost, Gabriel,” Griff shot back. “According to the lore, there’s only been a handful ever encountered.”

Gabriel waved him off with a casual gesture. “Like that’s an excuse.” Like a light switch, his expression grew serious. “So you need someone to perform a ritual to make everyone forget this ghost. Which will allow her to move on?”

“Pretty much,” Sam said. “And then if you could confirm she’s moved on. I’m hoping as an archangel, the ‘remembering her’ part won’t apply to you.”

Gabriel looked as if he were considering. “I think it won’t. I should be able to check that she’s moved on. If she’s gone to Heaven, it’ll be easier. I’ll just check in with Jack. It’ll be a little tougher if she’s gone downstairs, but I’m sure I can figure something out. Once we know she’s gone, I can put your memories back so you don’t wonder how you ended up in sunny Huntsville.”

Everyone agreed it was as good a plan as they could come up with. Gabriel said he didn’t need Rowena to create a spell. He had something in mind from his pagan days. Snapping up the ingredients took only a moment, and he assembled everything.

“I think the best way to handle this is to put you three to sleep and wipe your memory of her after I do that. That should be the least disorienting to you. Then once I confirm she’s moved on, I can restore your memories and wake you up.”

Griff couldn’t find fault with it, although it was quite the anti-climactic end to the case.

“I know. It’s not the most satisfying end for you,” Gabriel said, as if reading his mind. Knowing the archangel, he probably had. “But you all did the research that got you to this point, so don’t feel you like you didn’t contribute and weren’t important.”

Griff could tell from the expressions around him that no one was really happy with the solution, but no one, not even Sam, said anything.

The three of them settled themselves comfortably on the two beds: Lex and Griff on one, Sam sprawled on the second one. Gabriel gave both Sam and Lex a kiss before sending them to sleep. He did Griff last.

“Figure you’d rather me skip the kiss on you,” he said with a wink.

“Good call,” Griff said. Gabriel’s hand came down on his forehead, and he knew no more.

***

Late afternoon sun streamed in through the hotel window when Lex awoke. It had been late morning when they had called Gabriel, and he wondered if the ritual had taken that long or if Gabriel had just wanted them all well-rested. He glanced over and noticed Griff was still sleeping. His features were relaxed, and he looked more at peace than Lex was used to seeing. The contrast was startling. He hadn’t realized how bad off his partner had been.

He sat up and looked for Gabriel. The angel was lying on Sam’s bed, his head in his mate’s lap. He cracked an eye to regard Lex. “I’m letting him sleep a bit longer. He needs it.”

Sam was awake too, fingers playing with Gabriel’s hair. “He did well, but, yes, I was noticing him looking more tired than I’d expected.”

“Is there anything you can do for him?” Lex asked.

Gabriel shrugged from his position on Sam. “I can try, but when I’ve tried to ask, he’s always waved me off. Says he’s fine.”

But now that Lex was aware of it, Griff clearly wasn’t fine.

“We’ll keep an eye on him, Lex,” Sam said, his tone reassuring.

He was glad to have all of them looking out for his partner.

Then he realized he remembered everything about the case. “It worked?”

Gabriel laughed. “Took you that long to remember that?”

Lex picked at a rough spot on the coverlet. “I was distracted?”

“Yes, it worked,” Gabriel said, sitting up. “She’s in Heaven. Everyone still remembers her. They just don’t remember the bit about her sexuality.” He shook his head. “You humans are just too wound up about that.”

“Can’t disagree with that,” Lex said. Then he groaned, remembering the long drive back. “Let Griff sleep a bit more and then start the drive back?”

“Nope,” Gabriel said. “Just before Sam called me, your bots picked up two cases. One looks like vampires. Not sure about the other one. I’m going to fly us all home, and we can head out for them. Sam and I will handle the vampires. You and Griff can take the mysterious disappearances and deaths.”

Lex was already pulling out his laptop and logging into the laptop he left at the Bunker, monitoring the supernatural world for hunts. He immediately saw what Gabriel had mentioned. He sighed. No break between cases. But, he did enjoy working them, so he couldn’t bring himself to mind too much.

He wondered what he and Griff were hunting.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the tags if you haven't already. They become relevant starting right now.

Gabriel flew Sam and himself back to the Bunker. There had been an awful lot of vampires, and it had been a tough fight, even for Gabriel. None of them could have hurt him, but they all figured out quickly that Sam was more vulnerable, and Gabriel had spent too much of his time protecting his mate. Bond-given strength and speed had only gone so far.

About all he wanted now was a shower--he could have snapped the muck off but showers, especially with his mate, were so satisfying--a pizza and Sam naked on their bed.

He knew Sam was in agreement with him, and they both hurried for the weapons room to dump their stuff. They passed by Dean’s Man Cave and noticed their brothers had returned from their time in Castiel’s universe. Gabriel had been so distracted he hadn’t felt Cas’ distinctive presence.

“How’s my brother from another father doing?” he asked, pausing on their way by.

“Hello to you too, Gabe,” Dean said from his chair. The one no one else was allowed to sit in. Gabriel had tried it once and decided it wasn’t worth the fuss of trying it again.

“Greetings, Dean-o and baby bro,” Gabriel said with a wink. “Now how is Castiel doing? Give him good pointers on running a Heaven?”

“Castiel is doing fine,” Cas said. “He’s got natural leadership skills and picked everything up quickly.”

“So in other words, the three of you spent less than a week organizing Heaven and the next three weeks in bed.”

Matching blushes and averted gazes from both Dean and Cas made it plain that had been exactly what had happened.

Sam laughed and started to add to the teasing, but before he could say anything, Gabriel went on alert.

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked. Concern flowed down the bond.

Gabriel concentrated. _Gabriel! Djinn got us. I’m hurt bad. Lex is gone._

“Shit,” Gabriel said.

“What’s wrong, brother?” Cas asked.

Gabriel had already shared the prayer with Sam, who was shouldering his weapons bag and checking his knife and handgun.

“Griff,” Gabriel said. “He just prayed to me. Says they got attacked by a djinn. He’s hurt, and the djinn has Lex.”

Dean and Cas were in motion immediately. “Can you find him?” Dean asked.

“It’ll take me a minute, but yes,” Gabriel answered.

“That gives us time to get weapons,” Dean said as he and Cas hurried for the door.

Sam stood by him, warm hand on his shoulder. “You can do it.”

“I know I can, Sam.” And he did know it, but the thought of Lex injured and in the hands of a djinn sent twin fear and anger running through him. Lex wasn’t his mate yet, but he realized he did love him. Plus injuring Griff. The djinn would pay!

He felt answering fury from Sam.

Concentrating, he found Griff. Illinois, near Deer Park. “Leaving in 30 seconds, Dean, Cas. Whether you are here or not.” He reached for Sam, who reached back to grip his arm.

Dean and Cas ran in just then. Gabriel sent the coordinates to Cas, and they all flew.

As soon as they landed, Gabriel hurried to Griff, who was doubled over on the ground, holding his arms over his stomach. Gabriel gently moved his arms. Blood oozed from a long slash. “Tried to gut you, didn’t he?” he asked as he placed his hand over the wound and sent healing grace into Griff. While he was healing him, he surreptitiously gave him a bit more of his grace. He could tell that the grace he’d already give him was still working overtime on him, and he hoped a bit more would help. It concerned him that the man still needed long-term healing.

But there wasn’t time to think about that. Sam, Dean and Cas were loosely fanned out, protecting them in case the djinn was nearby.

Griff struggled to sit up, and Gabriel supported him. “How long has the djinn had him?” the angel asked.

“What time is it?” Griff asked.

“Twenty-one hundred hours and forty-nine minutes,” Cas answered with his usual precision.

Gabriel spared a moment for an eyeroll and an aside to Sam. _Do you think he does that on purpose or does Dean still need to educate him? I was going to say “about ten pm.”_

_I think he’s trying to lighten the mood._

Gabriel could see that, but he just wanted to find Lex and go Biblical on the djinn that had dared to hurt him.

Griff was speaking, and Gabriel forced his attention back to him. “Damn. I was out longer than I thought. He’s had him for a while now. Maybe eight hours?”

That wasn’t so long that the djinn would have drained him, but it was long enough for a djinn dream to have messed with him, depending on what the djinn was showing him.

_Maybe it’ll be like the dream I had?_ came Sam’s hopeful sending.

Sam had experienced a djinn dream on their way to recruit Lucifer before the big fight with AU!Michael. Sam’s dream had been virtually the same as his current life, which had both surprised and gratified Gabriel. But he didn’t think that was going to be the case with Lex. “Not with that stain on his soul, Sam,” he said, worried enough that he said it out loud before he caught himself.

Three voices said, “What stain?” at almost exactly the same time.

“No time,” Gabriel said. “We need to get him out of there.”

He concentrated, but ran into the same problem he’d had finding Sam. He could touch Lex in his dream--and he definitely didn’t like what he was seeing--but as far as Lex was concerned, he was in D.C. which didn’t give Gabriel anything to work with.

Sam had been following along through the bond. “How did you find me?” he asked.

“By looking for the lack of a soul, but the djinn hadn’t gotten too far. I had a limited area to search.”

“I can find him, I think,” Griff said, his voice exhausted and full of emotional pain but also determined.

Gabriel was shaking his head. “No, you’re in no shape to do this. No offense, Griff, but we don’t want to damage your psychic senses.”

“Let us search together, Gabriel,” Cas said.

“Can you draw on our bonds somehow?” Dean asked. “I don’t know? Boost your power or something?”

Gabriel was grateful that both Dean and Cas were willing to help. Between the four of them, they could find Lex.

Sam was a solid presence in his mind, grounding and steadying him.

“All right, Cas, you’re right. We can do this together.” He remembered what a djinn’s lack of soul felt like, and he sent that to his brother. He dropped to the ground in one smooth motion, legs folding under him. Cas joined him with equal agility. He felt Sam’s wince at the ease of the action.

_Angel, Sam_

That was all the time he had for levity. Gabriel reached out with his grace and joined with Cas. It had been a long time since he’d done a joint grace working like this, and a part of him thrilled to be working with one of his brothers. Even though he probably didn’t need to, he closed his eyes, the better to concentrate. His wings spread behind him before he could stop them. It felt right and he let them.

Together, he and Cas spread their senses, searching for the lack of a soul. It was harder to search for the lack of something than a presence, but he’d done it to find Sam. They could do this.

It seemed to take forever. Sam lent him as much strength as he could, and Gabriel was dimly aware of Dean doing the same. Finally, he caught a ping off of nothingness.

_Brother?_ Cas sent.

Yes! It had the distinctive metaphysical odor of djinn kind.

“Grab on everyone. I think we’ve got a fix on them.”

Gabriel gave Cas the coordinates, took Griff’s arm, and they flew again. They landed in a small clearing near a rickety wooden shack. Gabriel was offended on principle that his future mate was being kept in such a ramshackle place.

_Gabriel!_ came an urgent sending from Sam. _He’s got to agree to be your mate. He hasn’t done that yet._

Gabriel was too focused on his anger to pay more than vague attention to what Sam had said. He’d worry about that later. For now, he was going to make this djinn pay. And rescue Lex.

Now that he was this close, he knew they were in the right place. He could sense the presence of his grace in Lex. His blade dropped into his hand, and he strode forward, wings spread behind him. Waving a hand, he used grace to toss the door to the shack halfway to the next state. A moment later, he was in the building, the djinn just having noticed that something was wrong.

Gabriel took in the scene. Lex was hanging limply from chains affixed to the ceiling. He was hooked up to the usual assortment of djinn “life support” and was unconscious. The djinn stood in front of him, inhaling Lex’s life force. The monster’s blue tattoos glowed in the dim light from the medical monitors.

Silver-blue blurred his vision, and Gabriel waved a hand again. The djinn flew out the back wall and most of the way into the surrounding forest.

_Sam. Take care of Lex!_

He sensed an affirmative from his mate, and, satisfied Lex was in good hands, he strode at an even pace through the hole in the wall. The djinn was just struggling to his feet. Gabriel formed his grace into a noose and wrapped it around the monster’s neck, lifting it into the air. The djinn’s hands flew to its neck as it tried to loosen the silvery blue circle cutting off his air. Gabriel let his eyes glow, and he concentrated.

Lighting from clear sky marched across the forest. He controlled it with his power, ensuring it didn’t harm any trees or other living creatures. Manipulating his grace, he turned the djinn so it could see the approach of its doom.

The creature struggled harder in its bonds.

Gabriel smiled. His Father had created him to be the Archangel of Vengeance, and by his Father, he was going to rain vengeance down upon this creature. He loosened the grip of his grace binding just enough that the djinn could scream. The sound was balm to his ears. Lighting struck inexorably forward, bolt after bolt striking the ground in a march of inevitability. Gabriel controlled their approach, wanting the monster to feel abject fear before he died.

A small part of his attention was on his mate, who, with Cas’ help, was lowering Lex from his chains. Dean carefully removed needles and tubes. Griff held Lex’s chill hands in an attempt to warm them.

Gabriel threw back his head and laughed. With the final burst of laughter from his throat, the lighting reached the djinn, striking him and consuming him with holy fire and wrath. The monster screamed one last time before bursting into flames.

Gabriel watched him burn, and it was good.

Before the djinn had been fully consumed with purifying fire, the archangel was turning to go to Lex, ready to heal his future mate and take him home. They already had him lowered to the ground, his head lying limply in Sam’s lap. Griff knelt next to him, still holding his hands. “Lex. Wake up. We’ve got you. You’re safe now.”

“I healed him, brother,” Castiel said. “Removed the poison in his system and eased some mild dehydration. He should be fine now.”

Physically, Gabriel thought, maybe. But he had glimpsed some of what Lex had experienced in the dream, and he suspected emotional recovery might take longer. Kneeling down, he gently lifted the unconscious Lex in his arms, holding him close to his chest. His wings wrapped around him, without his conscious direction, cocooning the man in his power. “Griff, Sam. You’re with us. I want to get us back to the Bunker.”

Griff was still managing to hold one of Lex’s hands, but he gripped Gabriel’s arm with his other hand. Sam wrapped one long arm around his mate’s waist, continuing to send love and support through the bond. Gabriel was grateful for it. His anger was fading, but he still wanted to kill the djinn again. A few more times.

_Lex first,_ came Sam’s soft voice in his mind.

“We’ll meet you back home,” Cas said.

Gabriel spread his wings, which had never quite furled, and flew them home. He landed them in Griff’s room and carefully lay Lex down on the bed.

“Here?” Griff asked, sitting down beside his partner, never letting go of his hand.

“I don’t want him alone when he wakes up,” Gabriel said. “It’s easier to take shifts in here than in my room.”

“Oh,” Griff said. “That makes sense.”

Gabriel sat down on the other side of Lex and took his other hand. The man looked so tiny and fragile in the bed. His face was pale and drawn. His eyes looked sunken.

“Looks like the djinn was draining him fast,” Sam said from his position by the door. Dean and Cas arrived just then, apparently not having expected Gabriel to have brought him to Griff’s room.

“He was,” Gabriel said. “Looks like you did a good job, Cas, but he needs to recover. I don’t know why it was draining him so fast, but I don’t think he had more than another eight hours or so.”

“Could he have known who Lex was?” Dean asked, his voice low.

“I can’t see how.” Gabriel said. “Lex and Griff haven’t been hunting that long.”

“Gabe,” Sam said, his tone full of sympathy. “I found this in the cabin.”

The angel turned to look at his mate, who was holding...something...out to him. It looked to be a broken part of a keychain. He took it. “What’s this?”

“I had it in my pocket when we were driving to Orlando. Remember how I dropped the keychain in the motel parking lot? Just before we encountered the djinn in Nashville?”

Gabriel closed his hand around the bit of plastic, crushing it into unrecognizability. “You’re thinking?”

Sam was nodding. “It might have been a mate or friend of the one you killed a month ago.”

“But how?” Dean asked reasonably. “Are you saying Lex was targeted deliberately?”

Shrugging, Sam said, “I’m not sure, but probably not. I’m thinking it grabbed Lex and figured it out later. Knowing he had an archangel to deal with, he drained quickly. Lex being grabbed was probably chance, although, considering we’re still short of Hunters around here, the odds were pretty good the djinn would have been hunted by someone close to Gabriel.”

Gabriel was aware of how the British Men of Letters had targeted American Hunters, and he could see Sam’s point. “Doesn’t matter. It’s dead now.” Although he still wished he could kill it again. In his opinion, the monster hadn’t suffered enough.

“How about we let Lex rest?” Sam said. “We don’t all need to stand around the bed. Griff, you want to stay with him for a while? Call one of us when you need a break?

“Yeah,” Griff said. “I think I’m going to sleep for a bit. It was a day.”

“Eat first,” Gabriel said. “If you were passed out for hours, you’re hungry, even if you aren’t noticing it.”

“I’ll whip you up a couple of burgers,” Dean said. “Actually, I’ll make them for everyone.”

Gabriel wasn’t in the mood to eat, but he’d do it to be social.

_You eat and then you and I are heading to the bedroom. I know how to get you out of your head for a bit._

Gabriel supposed Sam did. And he’d take his mate up on it. Even though he didn’t feel much like sex right now. He wished there were more vampires to kill.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting two today. Because why not?

Lex slept for two days. Griff stayed with him most of that time, although he did let the others spell him for short periods. Everyone took a turn, although Gabriel took more than his fair share. If Griff had any lingering doubts of how the archangel felt, they were gone now. He’d seen the display of his wings with the djinn, and he suspected only Sam would have warranted that level of power. He wasn’t sure even Cas being in danger would have angered Gabriel like that.

Sam took almost as many shifts as Gabriel, and Griff thought Lex was in for a pleasant surprise when he finally woke up. However, even Dean and Cas took their turns. It was a testament to how thoroughly the Winchesters had adopted their two newest Hunters.

When Lex finally did wake up, it was the middle of the night, but Griff was awake almost as soon as his partner roused. “Lex?” he whispered against the other man’s neck. While usually Lex was the big spoon, Griff had adopted that position the last few days.

“Griff?” Lex’s voice was rough with disuse. Gabriel had been using grace to sustain him while he’d been unconscious, but he still hadn’t had anything to drink for a long time. Griff had been keeping a bottle of Gatorade by his bed for just this moment, and he reached over to open it and help Lex take a few tiny sips.

Lex drank a bit and then slumped back on the bed.

“Partner? How are you?” Griff asked, both hopeful and terrified of the answer.

What he hadn’t expected was for Lex to turn, bury his head in Griff’s chest and start sobbing. Suddenly, he was aware, not of the specifics of what Lex was feeling, but the sense that he was experiencing pain and loss.

What had the djinn made him dream about?

Gabriel appeared in his doorway, a questioning look on his face. In the dim light from the hallway, the angel looked almost as drawn and tired as Lex had looked when they’d gotten him back to the Bunker.

Griff gave a tiny shrug, not sure what to tell the angel. He’d hoped for some answers, but it appeared as if those weren’t going to be forthcoming immediately.

Gabriel mouthed, “Keep me posted.” Griff nodded again and held his partner tight, rubbing his back in what he hoped were soothing motions.

When he looked again, Gabriel was gone.

Lex cried for some time before calming and sliding back into sleep. Griff held him until he was sure he was soundly asleep again before carefully extricating himself and walking to the door to look for Gabriel.

He didn’t have to go far, which didn’t surprise him, having been fairly certain the angel had either hovered nearby or kept an “ear” out. Or whatever he did to keep track of everyone in his little family.

“How is he?” Gabriel asked, keeping his voice low. “Did he say anything?”

“No,” Griff answered. “I got him to drink a little, and then he just cried.” Frowning, he added, “I wonder what he dreamed.”

From the way Gabriel went completely still, Griff got it. “You know what he dreamed, don’t you?

Slowly, the angel nodded. “I got a bit of it.”

“What was it?” If he was going to help and support his partner, he needed to know. The pain rolling off of Lex was bad enough to have given him a headache.

“You know about his co-workers? The ones who died?”

Griff nodded. “Sure. He told me about them ages ago.”

“Did you know he was in love with them? Both of them?”

Griff considered. He hadn’t really thought about it, but now that he played back how Lex had talked about them, it didn’t really surprise him. “He didn’t say, but, now that you mention it, I guess I see it.”

“He didn’t tell me either, but it was obvious. So his dream was of living with the two of them.”

Griff’s eyes widened. “And when you say ‘lived with,’ you mean?”

Gabriel nodded. “Yes, as in living as if they were married. From the little I saw, it was a true poly relationship.”

Griff was stunned. He’d had no idea that was Lex’s ideal life. Maybe Lex hadn’t even known. “He’s going to be a mess about it, isn’t he? I mean, especially if he hadn’t realized how much they meant to him.”

“I think so. It’s why I didn’t want him left alone.”

That made sense. “We’re going to have to get him to talk about it then.” Griff wasn’t even sure how to process what he’d learned. To figure out that your ideal life was with two people who were dead. How did you process that?

Oh! He suddenly realized why Gabriel looked so drawn. “You’re wondering what that means with the two of you, aren’t you?”

Gabriel started to turn around and Griff thought he wasn’t going to answer, but then he stopped and said, “Yes.” He sighed. “When you told me that he’d been captured, I realized how much I love him. But I’m not sure I can compete with two dead people. People Lex is more than half-convinced he got killed.”

“Yeah, that’s rough,” Griff agreed. “But maybe he just needs some time? I mean, he’s rational. He’ll figure out that having two alive people to love him is better than pining after dead people, right?”

Gabriel regarded him with a sad expression. “No offense, but I don’t think you understand how romantic love works, Griff. Rationality and logic fly right out the window.”

It was true he didn’t understand, but this sounded extreme. Lex wasn’t like that. Griff was sure of it.

“We’ll get him through it,” Griff said, making his voice firm in an attempt to convince himself. “He’ll be fine. It might take him a while, but we’ll bring him around.”

Gabriel was shaking his head. Griff realized the angel looked old, something he hadn’t thought he’d ever see. “I hope you’re right.”

“And we won’t leave him alone. Make sure he knows he’s loved by us.”

Gabriel lifted his head. “Yes. We’ll do that. Let me know when he wakes again. I’ll be ‘listening’ for you. You don’t have to say anything out loud. Just think my name, and I’ll hear you.”

The angel turned and walked down the hallway. Griff didn’t like the way his shoulders were slumped. Was this what Gabriel had looked like right after his experiences with Asmodeus?

***

Lex finally woke up and stayed awake. But everyone noticed that he wasn’t himself. He barely ate and spent entirely too much time sleeping. Griff got him to confirm that yes, he had dreamed about living with Terri and Stiles, but otherwise, he wouldn’t talk about it.

He barely touched his computer, which scared Griff. He couldn’t remember a time when Lex hadn’t wanted to mess with his bots or do research or tweak the accounts that paid for his credit cards.

Oddly, the person he spent the most time with was Dean, who, until now, had been the person he’d spent the least amount of time with. Lex had asked Dean to improve his shotgun skills, and the two of them spent hours at the range. Griff wasn’t sure what to make of that, but he supposed it was better than him sitting around, staring at nothing, which was mostly what he did when he wasn’t practicing.

Lex was cordial to Sam and Gabriel but he dodged Gabriel the few times the angel tried to kiss him, saying “I’m not ready for that right now, Gabe. Sorry.”

Lines appeared in Gabriel’s face. Lines Griff was certain hadn’t been there a week ago. The pain flowing off of them was so bad that Griff went to Sam for more lessons on shielding. He had to do something to block everything he was picking up.

One thing really bothered him, though, and, after several days, he cornered Gabriel.

“Something’s bothering me,” he started.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at him. “Almost everything about this bothers me, so can you be a bit more specific?”

“Lex isn’t having nightmares. I mean, I’d expect him to. He’s in tremendous emotional pain, and he does wake up crying several times a night, but as far as I can tell, he’s not having nightmares.”

Gabriel frowned at him. “You’re right. That is odd. You’re sure? I mean as much as he’s sleeping, I’d definitely expect a nightmare or two.”

Griff shook his head. “Pretty sure. I did get Sam to help me reinforce my shielding, but I’m so in tune to Lex that I know I’d be picking up if he was having nightmares.”

Gabriel looked as if he was considering, and Griff gave him time. He’d gone over this several times, and it didn’t make sense.

Suddenly, a look of horror shot across the angel’s face. “Shit! I think I know.” He practically ran to Griff’s room, where Lex was napping. Griff followed, fear hurrying his steps.

Gabriel skidded into the room, almost falling onto the bed in his haste. Lex was curled up on his side, eyes moving back and forth. The angel took a deep breath and put a hand on Lex’s forehead. Griff could feel grace moving, and the grace in his chest jumped, as if it wanted to join in and help.

Lex’s eyes flew open. “NO!”

Griff heard the scream with both his ears and his mind.

“Gabriel! NO!” Lex repeated.

Then he curled into a tight ball, sobs shaking his body. Griff noted in that moment that Lex had lost a lot of weight. Maybe even ten pounds or more. Gabriel had managed to keep his hand on Lex’s forehead, and Griff felt more grace move. Lex’s body relaxed and uncurled. The angel had sent him to sleep.

Sam’s footsteps pounded in the hallway, and the big man skidded to a stop outside the room.

“What happened? Lex?”

Griff knew the only reason Dean and Cas weren’t there was that they were on a hunt. Unfortunately, the supernatural world didn’t stop because of turmoil in the Bunker.

Gabriel was shaking his head and muttering, “I should have checked. Why didn’t I check?”

“Check what?” Griff and Sam asked in unison.

Gabriel slumped, eyes fixed on the coverlet. Sam sat down beside him and took his hand. Griff sat down beside Lex and laid a hand on his back, feeling his steady breaths in the rise and fall of his back. It was crowded, but Griff was glad to have everyone present.

Finally, Gabriel straightened and spoke. “I didn’t check after Cas said he’d healed him. There was so much going on. I’d intended to but then I forgot.”

“All right?” Sam said. “Cas is a good healer. What would he have missed?”

“Djinn poison is tricky stuff. It’s easy to leave some behind.” He punched the bed. “I knew that. Dammit! Why didn’t I check?”

“He had some djinn poison left?” Griff asked. “What does that mean?”

Gabriel took a deep breath. “He had just enough poison left to partially enter the djinn dream. He wouldn’t get in all the way, but maybe enough to make him think he could get all the way. And then be frustrated when he couldn’t.”

Griff got it. That’s why Lex had been sleeping so much. He’d been trying to get back to Terri and Stiles. And couldn’t. Which explained why he woke up crying. His heart broke a little for his partner.

“Will he get better now?” Sam asked.

Gabriel shrugged one shoulder. “I hope so? But as hard as he’s been trying, it’s pretty obvious where he’d rather be. And it’s not here. I don’t know how to make him want to be here and not there.”

Griff didn’t have any ideas either.

“Castiel?” Sam asked.

Griff knew the newly raised archangel had mind healing powers, and he perked up at the suggestion.

“We’ll keep it in mind,” Gabriel said. “I don’t want to bother him if we don’t have to.”

“But if Lex doesn’t get better in a few days?” Griff pressed.

“All right. Yes. If Lex isn’t starting to get better by the end of the week, I’ll open a portal to Castiel.”

Griff would rather he open one now, but, for the moment at least, he was willing to defer to the archangel.

***

Lex was even more miserable, if that were possible, for several days after Gabriel eliminated the remains of the djinn poison. He showed the most emotion he’d exhibited since they’d rescued him when he got right in the archangel’s face and let him have it. Gabriel took it until Lex ran himself down into exhaustion. Then he held the trembling man until he calmed down enough to sleep. Gabriel assured Griff it was a normal sleep now.

Griff had watched Sam clench his hands so hard during the fight that he ended up with cuts so deep Gabriel had needed to heal them.

Lex apologized after he woke up, and Gabriel accepted it graciously. But the worry never left the angel’s golden eyes. Sam took him off to their room several times a day, and Griff was glad he had the support.

Unfortunately, Lex had been Griff’s support system until now, and he had no one. Until the second day after the poison incident when Sam quietly showed up and took Griff off shooting. They didn’t talk much, but Griff was grateful to have someone to hang out with who wasn’t Lex. Even though he felt terrible after he had that thought.

To everyone’s relief, however, on the fourth day after the healing, Lex came to breakfast, not exactly smiling, but in a much better mood. He spoke to everyone, joked a little with Cas and hugged both Gabriel and Griff.

“I’m so sorry I put you through all that, partner,” he whispered into Griff’s shoulder. “I can’t even begin to tell you how grateful I am that you stuck with me. I would have totally deserved it if you had left me alone.”

Griff hugged him back hard. “You know I couldn’t do that, Lex. I’m just glad you’re feeling better.”

He couldn’t overhear what Lex said to Gabriel, but it must have been good because some of the tension left the angel’s shoulders, and, more tellingly, Sam looked happier than he had in days.

Lex improved over the next few days. He went back to sleeping a normal amount. He spent hours at his computer, completely overhauling the bots and making them even more precise. Which kept Sam, Gabriel, Dean and Cas busy on hunts. Everyone agreed Lex wasn’t up to hunting yet, and he and Griff stayed at the Bunker, Lex providing technical support while Griff did lore research. The bots worked so well that they had to farm out some of the hunts to Jody and Donna.

He still wasn’t his normal self, and he didn’t smile much, but he did talk, and Griff was relieved. Or rather, he thought he should be relieved. However, something nagged at him that this was too good to be true. But he couldn’t put his finger on what, and Lex did seem much improved.

Dean and Cas decided to make another visit to Castiel, and Lex agreed, seemingly happy for them. The night before they left, everyone went into the TV room to binge the three _Iron Man_ movies in honor of Lex’s recovery. Lex sat between Sam and Gabriel, his head pillowed on the angel’s shoulder.

But Griff couldn’t lose his sense that they were all missing something. He didn’t say anything, but tried to stay close to Lex, and he quietly insisted that Lex continue to bunk with him. His partner agreed with a minimum of fuss. Griff couldn’t decide if that was a good sign or not.

Dean and Cas left the next morning, and Sam and Gabriel left for a quick hunt. The angel had been flying them instead of driving, it being faster and allowing them to handle more hunts.

Lex had seemed particularly cheerful that day, smiling and joking with Griff in the library, him on his computer while Griff studied Enochian. Cas had proclaimed his mastery of the angelic language to be coming along well. Griff enjoyed the study and worked on it whenever he had a spare minute.

Sam and Gabriel got back just before bed, and Lex surprised everyone by greeting them both with a kiss. Gabriel walked off with the biggest smile Griff had seen on his face in weeks.

This all had to be good, right?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of you who were suspicious? Yeah, this chapter is for you.

Griff woke briefly when Lex got out of bed. Assuming he was just heading to the bathroom and would be back soon, Griff settled back down on his pillow and started to drift off again. He’d slept badly when Lex had been so upset, and he was only just starting to get caught up again.

Something prickled at the edge of his awareness, however, and he opened his eyes and sat up. Lex wasn’t back yet. Then he heard a sound he couldn’t place right away. But a second later, he knew what it was. Fear shot through him. Suddenly he knew why Lex’s mood had improved so dramatically.

“_GABRIEL!_” he screamed with both voice and mind. He scrambled out of bed, reaching for his jeans and boots.

The sound he’d heard had been the distinctive settling sound the Bunker made when the main door closed. As soon as he’d heard it, he’d known that Lex had left and why.

He shoved his legs into his jeans, pushed his feet into his boots and dashed out of his room, not bothering in his haste to fasten either the button on his jeans or tie his laces. Heedless of the possibility of either losing his pants or tripping over his flapping laces, he raced for the map room. Gabriel and Sam met him as soon he entered the room and stumbled down the short flight of stairs. Sam’s long arm steadied him.

“What happened?” Gabriel asked.

Griff wanted to run outside, but he could sense Lex’s presence getting farther away by the second and knew they were too late to stop him from leaving. So it was best to take the time to explain and formulate a plan.

Even though all of his emotions urged him to just run outside and chase after Lex.

“Griff?” Sam said, gripping his arm and giving him a gentle shake to bring him back to his present surroundings.

Griff took a deep breath and said, “Lex just left. I’ve suspected for days that something wasn’t right, but I didn’t figure it out until just now.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened, and he and Sam exchanged glances. “Where has he gone?” Sam asked.

“You know how he seemed to get better and was on his computer more?”

They both nodded.

“Well, I think he’s been looking for another djinn. And he must have found it two nights ago and made the decision to leave tonight.”

Both Sam and Gabriel got identical looks of alarm. “That’s why he sat with us during the movie,” Sam said.

“And kissed us when we got back,” Gabriel added. The angel punched the Map Table, sending it flying across the room. Both Griff and Sam winced, but neither said anything. “And I should have seen it,” Gabriel went on as if he hadn’t just destroyed a major piece of furniture. “Dammit! I can’t believe I didn’t see it.”

“I didn’t see it either,” Griff said. He couldn’t even describe how awful he felt right then. All the signs were there. Lex’s behavior had changed too fast. But they’d all been so happy to see him getting better that they hadn’t questioned it. The hacker had played them as skillfully as he did the databases he cracked for cases.

“Time for blame later,” Sam said. “Right now we have to get him back. I’m guessing he didn’t realize you’d wake up and figure it out so quickly, Griff. So he can’t have gotten far.” He turned to Gabriel. “You can find him, right? He’s not under the influence of the djinn poison yet.”

The angel already had a far-away look in his eyes. Griff held his breath. Surely he could find Lex.

A moment later, Gabriel’s eyes focused, and his face fell. “Who taught him about hex bags? The extra-crunchy kind?”

“Shit!” Sam exclaimed. “That was me. But it was weeks ago. Before I had any idea it could be a problem.”

Griff took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. “Then it’s on me. Hex bags won’t stop me.” He paused, briefly overcome by the immensity of the task. He’d never tried to find Lex at any greater distance than the length of the Bunker.

Sam gripped his shoulders. “You can do this, Griff.”

“And I’ll boost you,” Gabriel added. “If you’ll give me something to focus on, we’ll use my power to increase the range of your search.”

“This will work,” Sam said.

Griff nodded, more to convince himself than in agreement.

Sam guided him to the library and to a comfortable chair. Griff sat down and let Sam walk him through relaxing into a light trance. They’d done this as part of his training, and the familiar words helped soothe his anxiety into something he could manage. As soon as he was settled, he felt Sam’s large hands replaced by Gabriel’s smaller ones, and, for the first time, he heard the angel in his mind.

_You look, and I’ll follow along and boost you._

The grace in his chest jumped and reached out for Gabriel. The angel pushed a bit of his grace at Griff, and, without knowing how he did it, he reached for it and held it, allowing it to flow through him. He knew he could search much farther than usual.

He let his awareness leave the Bunker in search of the matching bit of grace in Lex. He wasn’t on the road leading away from the Bunker, and it wasn’t long before he reached a "T" intersection. He paused, not sure which way to check. If he guessed wrong, he would waste a lot of time.

_You’re thinking in two dimensions, Griff. Think in three._

It took him a moment, but then he got it and took his awareness up, allowing him to scan further and in both directions. Gabriel’s presence was solid at his back, and he felt the angel’s awareness looking too.

He tried “speaking” to the angel. _The hex bag won’t block you like this, will it?_

_No_, came the immediate reassurance. _We’re looking with your senses, not mine._

That was good then. Griff relaxed his shoulders and continued searching.

Finally, he found it, moving fast.

_Not paying much attention to speed limits, are you, little Monkey,_ Gabriel said. _But we have you now._

A moment later, Griff was flying with Gabriel and then they were inside the freaking car! Gabriel’s flight had been so precise that Griff was in the passenger seat, and a quick check behind him showed Gabriel and Sam in the back seat.

However, there was no time to appreciate the angel’s aim. As soon as they landed in the car, Lex yelled, “No! Dammit! Let me go. I want to be with Terri and Stiles. Let me go!”

Griff caught a movement from the back seat, and he was so in tune to Gabriel right then that he felt grace move through the car.

The engine stopped, and the car slowed.

Lex hit the starter button hard enough to crack the plastic, but the engine didn’t start.

More grace moved, and the car maneuvered to the side of the road and stopped.

Lex let go of the wheel and turned on Griff. “You don’t understand! I got them killed. I loved them and didn’t even know it. And then I got them killed. This is my only way back to them!”

Griff reached out for Lex’s hands and held them tight. Lex tried to pull away, but Griff refused to let go. “You didn’t get them killed, Lex. I know you better than that. And, they’re gone. You’ve got people here who love you. We’re alive.”

He sensed Gabriel and Sam in the back seat, both of them barely breathing, letting him handle it for the moment.

Lex was shaking his head as Griff spoke. “No. I did. If I’d done my job right, they’d still be here.”

Griff didn’t like the glitter in Lex’s amber eyes. He wasn’t certain his partner was completely sane at the moment. He was also ashamed at the thought that he was almost glad Lex's friends were gone. Otherwise, Lex would have been happy with them, and might not have agreed to help Gabriel. Which would have left him still trapped at the mental institution, locked away until he died.

He took a deep breath and decided to tell a story he hadn’t told anyone in a long time. “Lex. Sometimes people die. Even people you love. People you work with. People you were supposed to keep safe. I had a friend in the Army. You remind me of him. Not that your personality is like him, but Brad and I were close like you and I are.

“Worked counter-terrorism with me. He was out on a mission and didn’t come back from it. They never found the body, so we don’t know exactly what happened, but we think someone let slip some information on an open line. It was an accident. A bad accident, but just an accident. I had nothing to do with it, but God did I feel guilty. I’d been sick with a stomach bug. It should have been me who’d gone, but he went instead. Nothing I could have done, but, yeah, I carry that with me today, and I still miss him like crazy.”

Sam’s warm hand gripped his shoulder. He appreciated it. He didn’t want to get too deep into it, but Brad had been the reason he’d not re-upped for a third tour of duty. He’d hoped the FBI would have allowed him to escape the memories.

Well, that hadn’t turned out as well as he’d hoped.

But Griff thought maybe Lex was listening, at least a little. Was he getting through? He hoped so. “So that’s the way things work. Things happen, and you have to let them go. It’s part of life.”

As soon as he said those words, he knew he’d screwed up. He felt Lex retreat far into himself. So far that Griff could barely sense him. Even his awareness of the grace in Lex’s chest faded. If it weren’t for being able to feel Lex’s pulse in the hands he gripped, he’d have thought they’d lost him.

“Gabriel!” he said, starting to panic. “I think I just fucked up. He just went really deep. I think he’s dissociating.” He knew that all too well from his own experiences.

Gabriel climbed out of the car, opened the driver’s door and picked up Lex, holding him tight against his chest. “Don’t feel bad, Griff. I think he was heading in that direction anyway. I’m the one who took him from his other life and brought him here to get taken by the djinn. This is on me to fix.”

Sam was just starting to yell, “No, Gabe!” when there was a flutter of wings and both Gabriel and Lex vanished.

“Shit!” Griff said.

“They just went back to the Bunker.” Sam was climbing out of the back and opened Griff’s door. To his surprise, the tall man pulled him out of the car and into a huge hug.

Griff gripped him back, needing the grounding. “What do we do?”

Sam sighed. “We drive Lex’s car back and hope Gabriel can help. He shouldn’t be taking this all on himself, but, of course he did. It’s what my mate does.”

“Want me to drive?” Griff asked. “No offense, but you don’t look like you’ll fit.”

Sam laughed, although there was little humor in it. “I’ll drive. I’ve driven under worse conditions.” He gave a deep sigh. “Maybe I’ll tell you the story of how I spent six months hunting Gabriel in his Trickster guise after he killed Dean.”

Griff got back in the car. Gabriel had once killed Dean? How was that even possible?


	9. Chapter 9

Gabriel flew them to the room he shared with Sam. He knew Dean had all sorts of theories of what they had in this room, but the reality was prosaic. The bed was large and comfortable, to accommodate both Sam’s size and their frequent activities. There were three couches dotted around the room. Honestly Gabriel wasn’t sure why he had three of them but he must have thought it was a good idea at the time.

The biggest indulgence was the jacuzzi off to the side opposite the bed--space constraints weren’t really a thing in this room--and Sam and Gabriel had spent many happy hours in it. He hoped to introduce Lex to it one day.

But first to get the boy out of his head. Griff was correct. He’d gone deep enough that he was effectively dissociating. He wasn’t sure how to get him out, but he’d give it his best. Avoiding the bed for the moment, he carried Lex to one of the couches and stripped him down to boxers and a t-shirt, for comfort. He had a feeling they were going to be here a while. He snapped himself into a similar outfit and used his grace to nudge the temperature to something comfortable. Settling longwise on his favorite couch--the one with a terrier pattern--he leaned against one of the arms and held Lex against him, back to Gabriel’s chest. He hoped it would make the man feel comfortable and safe without being confining.

Gabriel spoke quietly to him for a few minutes, hoping the sound of his voice would penetrate to wherever he’d fled. He told him how proud of him he was. How much Gabriel wanted him to be here. How good he’d gotten at hunting. Although he wanted to talk about how much he’d come to love the hacker, he didn’t think that was wise just yet, and he focused on the specific reasons he wanted Lex to stay with them.

No response. Lex lay limply in his arms, not giving any sign he’d heard any of it.

Gabriel knew what his next logical move was, but he wasn’t sure he could or should. Deciding to run it past his mate, he reached out to Sam, checking on where they were. Not far from the Bunker. Good. But was Sam really telling the story of hunting him after The Mystery Spot?

_It’s distracting him,_ Sam said simply.

_How’s Griff doing?_

There was a pause as Sam finished the story.

_He’s hurting. I think he’s been getting more of Lex’s emotional state than he’s been letting on._

Gabriel had been afraid of that. Griff’s psychic abilities were developing quickly, possibly faster than he was able to manage, considering everything that had been happening lately.

_Get him good and drunk when you get back._ He concentrated for a moment. _There’s a bottle of good Scotch in the library._

_Why is getting him drunk a thing now?_ Sam asked, his mental tone amused.

_I’m hoping it will dull his psychic senses. If things go where I think they will with Lex, it’s going to get painful for Griff._

_Okay? If you say so._

_But that’s not why I reached out to you. I need to run something past you._

_Sure. Go._

_I think I can go deep enough to see more of what Lex experienced. You know? Give me an idea of what we’re dealing with. But that involves going way past surface thoughts and far enough that I think I should get consent first. But I can’t, obviously._

Sam’s response was immediate. _You want to know if I think it’s acceptable to do it without his permission, under the circumstances?_

_Yes._

_I think it is, but let me ask Griff and get his perspective._

Gabriel thought that was a good idea. If anyone would have an idea about what was acceptable, it would be Griff. He knew Lex and he knew what it was like to have things done to him without consent.

A moment later, Sam came back with _Griff says do it. He thinks it’s like a medical procedure. If he were unconscious and bleeding out, you wouldn’t wait until he was awake to operate._

That made sense. _Thank you, Sam._

_Anytime. We’ll be back soon._

Gabriel settled himself and Lex more comfortably. He was going to have to go deep for this, and he’d end up losing his awareness of his vessel while he did it. No reason to come back all stiff and cramped if he didn’t have to. He closed his eyes, and carefully felt his way into Lex’s mind. He’d not done this with Lex yet and hadn’t planned to do so until and if he bonded him. Lex had retreated farther than he’d expected, and it took him several seconds to get to his memories. For an angel, several seconds was like an eternity compared to what it should have taken him.

Lex was determined in his retreat.

Finally, however, he was there. In Lex’s memory of the djinn dream. And Gabriel understood why he wanted to get back so badly.

The scene was simple. Terri was at the stove, cooking. Stiles was standing beside her, chopping what looked like vegetables for a salad. Lex was sitting at the kitchen table, working on his computer. Terri chided him for working at the dinner table, and, while Gabriel watched, Lex closed up his laptop and stood up to hug Terri from behind. Stiles reached out and gathered both of them close.

Gabriel’s heart sank. It was the most simple of domestic scenes, but Lex looked so happy. Happier than Gabriel could remember seeing him since he’d come to live at the Bunker. When he turned his head to say something to Stiles, love shone deep and content in his amber eyes.

How could Gabriel compete with that?

He pulled back and returned his awareness to his body. _Sam?_ He knew his mental tone sounded lost and broken, but that was exactly how he felt.

_Gabe? We’re just pulling in. What did you find?_

_I...don’t know what to do._ He sent the scene to Sam. _I can’t compete with that._

Sam answered with images instead of words.

_Lex’s huge grin the first time he scored a touch on Gabriel at fencing._

_Lex laughing with Dean as they debated “Team Cap” vs. “Team Iron Man.”_

_Lex’s excitement at creating the bot for hunts._

_The wobble in his step after Gabriel kissed him goodbye before the memorium hunt._

Sam finally spoke. _We can give him what he needs. Terri and Stiles are dead. We aren’t._

_But what if they are the two souls that I saw him tied to?_

_They are dead. They can’t be. We won’t allow it._

Sam’s tone was firm and confident, Gabriel hoped that Sam was right. His mate probably was. His own damned self-doubts were creeping in again. Every time he thought he was beyond them, they came back. However, if he was going to convince Lex, there was one more thing he needed to do.

_Stay with Griff. I think things are going to get loud soon._

_Got it,_ Sam sent back. _I found the Scotch. You weren’t kidding. That is the good stuff! Griff is hesitant to get plastered, but I think I can talk him into it._

Gabriel decided that was the best he could hope for and did something he hadn’t done in centuries. He turned on angel radio and scanned through until he found Jack.

_Uncle!_

Gabriel smiled at his nephew’s enthusiasm. _I need a favor. I need you to check on a couple of Heavens. It’s for Lex. He’s...not doing well._

_!!!! Of course. Should I come there? Is there anything else I can do?_

_Not really. Just check on a Terri and Stiles._ He didn’t know either of their last names, but he sent images and knew the Nephilim would be able to find them.

_Give me a minute._

Gabriel waited, running his hands through Lex’s hair. He was pretty sure he knew what Jack was going to find, and, while it gave him leverage, it wasn’t going to be easy on either of them.

_Got them. They are both here. And at peace. Terri is taking painting lessons and Stiles is on a mission. But not a bad mission. One he’s enjoying._

_So they aren’t together?_

_No. Should they be?_

_No, I don’t think so. And Lex isn’t in either of their memories?_

_No, Uncle. He’s not there._ Jack demonstrated his perceptiveness. _Were they important to him?_

_Very._ Gabriel gave him a quick rundown of what had happened.

Jack got it. _No, Uncle. If he came here, he wouldn’t be with them. And I’m sorry. Sounds bad for all of you._

_Thank you, Jack. I needed that. Now I know what to do._

_Good luck. If I can help, let me know._

Gabriel thanked him and closed the connection. Now for another deep dive into Lex’s mind. This time he needed to find his current consciousness. Not just a memory.

Before he went, he checked in quickly with Sam, who reported that all was well. Griff was three drinks in and starting to show the effects. Sam was nursing one but using sleight of hand to make Griff think he was matching him drink for drink.

Satisfied they were okay for the moment and proud of his mate’s duplicity, he dove back into Lex’s mind. It took him less time to find what he was looking for this time.

He found Lex’s awareness curled deep within him. As Gabriel “approached,” he shrank back. However, this time, Gabriel wasn’t letting him get away. Quickly he formed a mindscape in the shape of a bare room and “stood” in front of Lex, who was curled around himself, arms tight around his legs, jammed into a corner.

Gabriel knelt in front of him. “Lex?”

“No, Gabriel. Let me alone.”

Lex’s mental image was haggard and dressed in ragged clothing. Gabriel gave in to his impulse and pulled him into a tight embrace. Lex fought him for a moment but then went limp.

“Lex. I’ve seen your memory of the djinn dream.”

“Then you understand.”

“Yes, I do. But I won’t let you commit suicide by djinn.”

“I just want to be with them.” His tone was plaintive.

“I know, but the dream is just a dream, and dying won’t join you with them.”

Lex uncurled a tiny bit. “How can you know that?”

“Because I’m an archangel. I can check on Heavens. Both Terri and Stiles are in Heaven, and they are at peace. But they aren’t together.”

Lex uncurled more, just enough to look at him. “They aren’t?”

“No. Only soulmates share a Heaven, and they aren’t soulmates. And...I’m sorry, Lex, but you aren’t in their memories, so when you go to Heaven, you won’t end up with them.”

Pain rolled off of Lex at Gabriel’s words. He hoped Griff wasn’t picking up any of this. Gabriel held him close, trying to offer what he could, fearing it wasn’t enough.

But Lex proved himself to be worth an archangel’s attention. He extricated himself from Gabriel’s embrace and asked, “What do I do now? Where do I go from here?”

Relief flowed through Gabriel, and he passed it on to Sam. This he could work with. He held out a hand. “Come back with me? Can we talk about this in our respective bodies instead of in here?”

Lex regarded the hand in front of him, and Gabriel was afraid he was going to say “No.” But then, he reached out and took the offered hand. He didn’t say anything, but Gabriel took it as assent.

He opened his eyes, bringing Lex back with him. He felt the man shivering in his arms, and he nudged the temperature up again. Wrapping his arms tightly around Lex, he whispered into his hair. “Let me help you? We can figure this out. I won’t leave you until we do.”

He had to multi-task for a moment because Sam was suddenly in his head, demanding attention.

_Griff just seized. I don’t think being drunk numbed him. I think it just meant he lost control of his shielding._

Shit! He couldn’t handle both of them. They both needed him, and, while he could form duplicates, fake!him wouldn’t be able to help. He considered.

_Gabe. I’m trying to hold him down so he won’t hurt himself, but he’s in bad shape._

Gabriel realized he had no choice. He sent grace flowing through Lex, sending him deeply asleep. It wasn’t ideal, but he thought it would hold him while he helped Griff.

_On my way._

Before he even finished the thought, he flew to the library where Sam was basically sitting on Griff. His back was arched so much it looked like it would break, and his eyes were rolled far back into his head.

Gabriel landed beside him, took his head in his hands and sent healing grace through him. He was surprised at how much it took to calm the spasms, but finally Griff’s body relaxed in Sam’s arms.

“Really wasn’t sure that was a good idea,” Sam said, his tone milder than Gabriel probably deserved.

He flew the three of them to Griff’s room, where he settled his vessel on the bed, using more grace to make sure he’d sleep for a while. He thought the worst was over with Lex, but if Griff was going to react like that, he didn’t want to take chances. Killing his vessel was not part of this plan.

Once he had Griff soundly asleep, he slumped. Sam caught him. “Running you ragged today, aren’t they?”

Gabriel managed a tired nod. “Yeah. If I’d known this was what was coming, I might have let Bill and Griff take their chances.”

Sam chuckled, kissed the top of his head and held him close. “No, you wouldn’t have. I tried to talk you out of it, and you trotted out too many reasons why you couldn’t let them alone.”

Gabriel shrugged and lay his head against Sam’s broad chest. “Losing James that way was rough. I didn’t want to go through it again.”

“I know. But no more, Gabe. Otherwise we’ll have a flock over here.”

“I’ll try.”

“Nope. No try. Do.”

“That’s not the right quote,” Gabriel complained.

“You know what I meant.”

Gabriel lay back, closed his eyes and enjoyed the short respite of being surrounded by the arms, scent and feel of his mate.

“How’s our Lex doing?” Sam asked.

“I think I’m about to get through to him,” Gabriel said, not bothering to open his eyes. “I left him asleep. I’ll head back to him in a minute.”

“Must have been rough, for Griff to have reacted the way he did.”

Gabriel nodded, but then remembered what he thought he was going to have do to help Lex. Fear shot through him.

“What?” Sam asked, body stiffening behind him, ready to deal with a threat.

“I think I know what Lex is going to need. And I don’t know if I can do it.”

_You can do it_. From the tenor of Sam’s mental voice, he knew his mate understood what he was considering and why it terrified him. _You’re my mate. You can do anything. I want Lex too._

Gabriel was glad that Sam was on board with it. Because he was pretty certain bonding Lex was the easiest way to get him through this. He wanted him as a mate, and Sam wanting it too was perfect. But he was terrified about what he thought he needed to do for the bonding.

He’d certainly bonded Sam without sex being involved, but he wasn’t sure it would go as smoothly with Lex. Gabriel knew from long experience that sex done right created a connection like few other things. Bonding would go easier with that level of intimacy. However, although he was doing better with sex, he and Sam still hadn’t progressed to topping or bottoming. He wasn’t entirely certain he could contain his panic reflex. But Lex needed this. All his instincts told him so.

“You can do it. Although I’m slightly annoyed that Lex gets it before I do.”

Gabriel knew he was joking, but he still was stung by it. Because it was true. Sam should have been the first time.

“It’s fine. You can get all the rust off with Lex, and it’ll be even better for me.”

Gabriel smiled at his mate’s attempt at levity. It worked, and he felt himself relax. He’d let himself have a few more minutes here before heading back to Lex.

Which of course was when things went wrong. Again.

He sat up straight at the painful twanging at his grace.

“What?” Sam asked.

“That’s...That’s not even possible!” Gabriel exclaimed as he stood up.

“Lex waking up, even though you had him under?”

“Worse than that. He’s awake. And already at the door.” Gabriel had no idea how he’d managed that.

“Go,” Sam said, pushing him in the direction of the door. “I’ve got Griff. I’ll keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t wake up too and try to wander off.”

Gabriel flew. Again! This was getting old. Maybe he needed to just ignore his desires to keep their room private. He could bring Griff in there. Or not, if sex was about to happen.

He landed by the door, which Lex was fumbling to open. If it hadn’t been so serious, Gabriel would have laughed. Lex was only barely awake. He’d tried to put on his jeans but had them on backwards. He was leaning hard against the door frame and was squinting at the doorknob as if he couldn’t quite find it. Gabriel reached out to him, and Lex practically fell in his arms. He walked them to the nearest couch and sat down, Lex against his chest. With a thought, he fixed Lex’s jeans so they were on the right way and fastened.

“How did you do that, Lex? I had you so far under you shouldn’t have awakened until next week.”

“You were gone. Said you’d stay.”

It took a moment, but then he remembered that, yes, he had told Lex he’d stay with him until they figured it all out. That had been right before Griff had his seizure. “I’m sorry, Lex. I’m here now. I won’t leave again.” He really wasn’t sure how Lex had known he was gone. Had he started to bond him without realizing?

The grace in Lex’s chest reached out to him, and he thought that must have been it. _Traitor_, he said to it.

It settled back into Lex, apparently satisfied.

“Said that before.” Lex’s voice was so slurred that he sounded drunk.

Gabriel banished most of the grace he’d used to keep Lex asleep, allowing him to wake up properly. “I’m sorry. I thought you were deep enough that you wouldn’t even know I was gone. Griff needed me.”

Lex struggled to sit up. “Is he okay?”

“He is now.” He’d fill Lex in later. When he was in a better headspace.

“Good.” Lex lay back against his chest. Gabriel waited to see what he’d say, not sure exactly what Lex was thinking and not wanting to intrude on his thoughts this time.

It took a couple of tries before Lex was able to speak but he finally said, “I’m so cold and empty, Gabriel. I don’t know what to do. I want Terri and Stiles so bad.”

Gabriel was afraid Lex was going to retreat back into himself, but he continued, “I see that I can’t. But I don’t know how to feel whole again.”

Gabriel asked, “Do you really want them or do you want what you had with them?”

Lex didn’t answer for a moment. Finally, he said, “Both I guess? But I can’t have that. So…” His voice broke but Gabriel was able to make out his words. “So I guess I want what I had.”

“And you know you can have that with others, right?”

“Yes?”

His voice still sounded so broken, but he was talking, and Gabriel was willing to take that. “I can help you feel warm and not empty,” he said, sending a quick prayer to his Father that Lex would take him up on it.

A long pause. Finally, “How?”

“I love you, Lex. Sam loves you. I can bring you into the bond. And…” Here was where he needed to take a moment to find courage within him. “I want to make love to you.”

Lex shook his head. “I don’t think I can get aroused right now.”

“You don’t have to. I can make it good for you. I can be in you. Even if you’re not aroused, there’s a...connection there that I think will help you feel less empty.”

Another long pause. Gabriel had almost convinced himself that Lex was going to refuse, but he finally said, “I don’t think I’m worthy of being bonded to Sam, much less to you. You’re...you’re an archangel. I’m just a washed-up hacker.”

Gabriel tightened his grip. “You are far from washed up. I think I’m the one who decides who is worthy of loving, and I’ve decided that I love you.”

Lex said something so softly that it required archangel hearing to make it out. “I think I love you too.”

“Then you’ll try?”

Yet another long pause. “I guess. But I don’t know how to start. I’ve never...I mean...nothing like what I think you’re offering. Sure, in the djinn dream, I guess. But that’s not really real.”

Relief went through him. He could work with that. Especially since Lex just admitted the dream wasn’t real. “That’s fine. I’ve got this. Let me do the work. You just enjoy.”

“Okay.” He sounded uncertain, so Gabriel kissed him. It took a bit of time but Lex finally responded and kissed back.

Gabriel teased his lips open and explored every bit of his mouth. They had kissed before, but those had been just for fun. The stakes on this one seemed much higher, and he didn’t want to mess it up. He shifted on the couch to cover Lex, hoping his weight would ground and soothe him. He pulled out every trick he could think of, not the stuff he’d have used in _Casa Erotica_, but what he did to tell Sam he loved him and cherished him.

Lex kissed back, but it was obvious to both of them that it wasn’t arousing him. Lex broke the kiss. “I’m sorry, Gabriel. I just don’t think this is working.”

Gabriel kissed his forehead. “It’s working just fine.” He took Lex’s hand and placed it on his cock, which was plenty hard. “Technically, I’m the only one who needs to be hard for this, and I’m doing fine.”

Lex’s expression was still uncertain, and he started to pull back. Gabriel put a hand on his back to hold him in place, but gently, so the man didn’t feel confined. “Are you enjoying it?”

“Kind of.”

Pain lurked in the back of his amber eyes, and Gabriel tried to think of what to say.

“Are you thinking about them?”

Lex’s gaze dropped to the couch. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I’m trying not to. But those are the most recent memories I have of sex, and I can’t help it.”

Gabriel decided to switch tracks, at least for the moment. He shifted position, so he was on the edge of the couch, facing Lex, whose was pressed against the couch back. Gabriel had created these couches to be extra wide so no one would fall off when he did this. “It’s fine, Lex. You loved them. And I know you wanted to go back to them.”

Lex still wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I won’t. I promise. I mean, I know that it isn’t real, and it’s not good for me. You all worked so hard to bring me back. I won’t make you regret it.”

Gabriel ran a gentle finger down his cheek, stroking his sideburns. “I don’t regret anything. But why don’t you tell me about Terri and Stiles. Help me love them a little bit.”

Lex’s eyes shot up and met his. “What? You can’t mean that. I mean, shouldn’t you be telling me not to think about them?”

“Why? Would it work?”

“Well, no,” Lex said. “But it’s...rude to talk about them. It’s like the ‘don’t talk about old lovers’ rule, but worse because they never were really my lovers anyway.”

Smiling, Gabriel said, “Have you seen me? I’m not big on rule following.” He had an idea. “Want to hear about how I was Kali’s lover?”

Lex blinked. “Kali? As in...”

“Yep. Hindu goddess of time, creation and destruction.” He frowned. “Never did have a clear sense of how she could be goddess of those last two at the same time, but, oh, was she something in bed.”

“She was?”

Gabriel nodded. “Oh, yes. No one, and I mean no one, has ever gone down on me like she did. Used just enough teeth to make you remember why it was unwise to make her angry. Liked it rough too. As celestial beings, we could go on for hours.” He let pride creep into his voice. “Three solid days was our record. Honestly, I lost track of the number of times each of us came.”

Lex’s eyes widened. “The only lover I had who was even close to that was Olivia. She was crazy, but she was a demon in bed.” As soon as he mentioned her, his expression closed down. “Uh. Yeah. But she was bad news.”

Gabriel realized he might still have one Trickster gig left in him. Olivia needed to pay for what she’d done to his gentle hacker. But he kept his feelings off of his face.

“So I kissed and told first. Your turn.”

A flush rose in his face, and Gabriel couldn’t help but kiss his cheek.

“All right,” Lex finally said. “Uh. Terri has...had…” His voice broke, and Gabriel waited for him to recover. When he started again, his voice was stronger and held a hint of determination. “She had the best hair. I always wanted to touch it. In the dream, it felt thick and soft, just like I’d always thought it would. She gave the best hugs. I got a few of those for real. She was a great artist and...well...an amazing friend. Pretty too. So pretty.”

Gabriel gave him a sad smile. “I wish I’d met her.”

Lex took a deep, hitching breath. “Yeah. I wish you had too.”

“So what about Stiles? He looked pretty hot in your memories.”

Lex finally smiled, and Gabriel smiled back. “Yeah, he was. God he was. His shoulders.” The smile faltered. “But I didn’t just like him for that. He was such a good agent. Never flustered. Always seemed to know the right thing to do.” He shook his head. “I’m probably making him better in my memory than he really was. But I admired him so much. He was kind of how I envisioned the ideal agent.”

“And he and Terri were together for real?”

Lex shook his head and smiled again. A small smile but a real one. “Not exactly. I mean, they were never not together, but they weren’t exactly together either. I think they would have gotten there eventually, but...well, Stiles needed to get his head out of his ass.”

Gabriel gave a soft chuckle. “I’ve had my head up my ass more times than I can count.”

Lex moved over until he was lying with his head on Gabriel’s chest. The angel adjusted his position to better support him.

Lex lay there for several minutes, and Gabriel ran a gentle hand through his hair. Finally, Lex said, “Thank you. I think that helped.”

“Good.”

Lex lifted his head. “Umm. I think maybe I can kiss you now without...well, I’ll remember them, but I think it’ll be easier?”

Gabriel was happy to oblige. He kissed him, and this time Lex responded, at least a little bit. He didn’t know, yet, where Lex liked to be touched, but he ran gentle fingernails down his back, touched his hair and cupped his face, keeping the touches soft and undemanding.

“Want to take this to the bed?” he asked after they’d kissed for several minutes.

“Sure,” Lex answered. “It’s still not really working, though.”

Gabriel stood up and extended a hand to Lex. “It’s fine. You’re fine.”

He lay Lex down in the center of the bed, knelt over him and reached for the button of his jeans. “This okay?”

“Yeah,” came the soft response. It wasn’t exactly enthusiastic, but Gabriel would take it.

He slowly unbuttoned, unzipped and slid the jeans off of him, making appreciative noises all the while. Lex closed his eyes and shook his head.

Gabriel leaned down to kiss his chest. “What’s the head shake for?”

“I still can’t believe you want this.”

Gabriel lay down on top of Lex again, making certain to be very clear that he wanted this. Yes, he was trying not to think too much about what was coming next, but this part he was enjoying. “I’ve wanted to see more of you for a very long time, Lex.”

“How? I haven’t been here that long.”

Gabriel gave deep chuckle and ran a hand up Lex’s t-shirt. “You caught my eye a long time ago. After I took care of Holland for you, I almost hung around to see if you might be interested.”

Lex opened his eyes. “You did? Then why didn’t you?”

“There was a certain Winchester who, I thought, needed to learn a lesson about being too attached to his brother.”

Lex frowned. “Dean?”

“Oh no. Dean had already made a bad decision in regards to his brother.” Gabriel shook his head. “No, I hoped I could get through to Sam.” He snorted. “Didn’t work out at all, unfortunately. I don’t always have the best ideas, and that one was one of my worst.” He slid his hand down Lex’s underwear. “But we’ve done as much talking about other lovers as we’re going to. Right now, I’m with you.”

Lex had hardened a bit, but Gabriel wasn’t sure this level of foreplay was going to accomplish much more. “Ready to move things along?”

“I’m hardly…”

Gabriel stopped that with a kiss. “Not a problem, remember?”

Lex’s expression was puzzled, but he nodded.

“Good. Roll over on your stomach.”

Lex did so, and Gabriel positioned some pillows under his hips. Lex immediately tensed up, so the angel straddled him and started massaging his shoulders. “You’re fine, Lex. I’ve got you.”

It took several minutes, but Gabriel knew how to give a massage, and he soon had Lex in a relaxed puddle in the middle of the bed. “Good.” He shifted so he was lying beside Lex, with easy access to both his back and his ass. With a quick snap, he lubed his fingers. “Okay, I’m going to prep you. Do you know the theory, or do you want me to walk you through it?”

Lex’s voice was distant, as if he were half-asleep. “I know the basics, yeah.”

Gabriel leaned forward and circled several of Lex’s vertebrae with his tongue. “Gonna just get you all relaxed, open and ready then. Don’t worry about doing anything other than lying there and enjoying it.”

Lex nodded and Gabriel carefully circled him with one finger, getting him used to the idea before gently inserting it slowly and steadily. Lex made a sort of half-protest noise.

“Doing okay, Lex?”

“Feels weird.”

“Weird is normal. Let me know if anything hurts. It shouldn’t if I do my job right, but just in case.”

“Got a question.”

“Of course,” Gabriel said, pausing his insertion.

“Are you as...uh...big as I am?” he asked, apprehension in his tone.

Gabriel chuckled. “From what I’ve seen so far, I’m going to say yes, but don’t worry. You can take me. I’ll make sure you’re good and ready.”

“Okay.” He didn’t sound entirely convinced, but he didn’t indicate Gabriel should stop either, so he kept on going, giving him some time to get used to the intrusion, He kissed as much of Lex’s back as he could reach. Slowly he felt him relax. A little bit further, and...there. He crooked his finger and pressed just so.

“Ahh,” Lex said, but it wasn’t an unhappy sound.

“Like that?” Gabriel asked, between kisses on Lex’s back.

Voice still sounding sleepy and relaxed, he answered, “I think I like that very much.”

“Good. Because it’s only going to get better.”

This was going well for Lex, and Gabriel was glad. For himself, he had to keep his panic reaction in check. This part wasn’t too bad. Asmodeus had never let him prep, but he had used the grace he’d purloined and profaned to force the captive archangel to get hard and top the demon Prince, who had enjoyed the role reversal. Gabriel thought very hard about how this was Lex, not his captor. This was for his future mate, and he could do it.

_You can_, came a loving sending from Sam. _I’m with you._

_Thank you._

_You’re sure Griff is soundly asleep?_

Gabriel did a quick check, being certain to maintain his slow, steady pace with Lex, who was starting to thrust his hips against the pillows. Good.

_He’s out. As far as I know. Of course, I thought that about Lex too. Why?_

_Because what you’re doing is very hot, and I’d rather Griff not wake up while I’ve got my hand down my pants._

Gabriel stifled a giggle at the image his mate was sending him. Sam was sprawled in the chair by Griff’s bed, legs spread, jeans unfastened and, yes, one hand stroking himself.

_Got plenty of tissues?_

_Oh yes. Please continue. I’m intending to enjoy this._

Gabriel resumed his prep. It took him a long time, but he finally got three fingers in. Lex was crying out softly and moving steadily against the pillows.

“I think you’re about ready, Lex.” He carefully removed his fingers and Lex made a little disappointed sound. “Oh, it’s going to get even better. Trust me.”

“I do,” Lex said, and Gabriel felt a sudden rush of love for the man. He helped Lex roll over. “Legs up on my shoulders. That way I can face you and still kiss you.”

Lex obliged, and Gabriel took a moment to admire the man spread out in front of him. “So gorgeous,” he breathed.

Lex shook his head.

“Oh, handsome, don’t you even do that.” He reached between them and gripped Lex’s cock, which was just about fully hard. He took a deep breath and managed to say, without a hint of quaver in his voice, “One day I’m going to have this in me, and it’s going to be so very good.”

Lex inhaled at the pressure on his cock and settled himself more firmly on the bed, hands gripping the sheets, eyes closed.

“Okay, Lex, here’s how this is going to work, if you’re okay with it. I’m going to enter you, and I’m going to make it so good for you. Then I’m going to claim you and bond you.”

“Claim?”

Gabriel leaned forward to nuzzle at Lex’s neck. “You’ve seen my mark on Sam.”

Lex’s eyes were still closed, and he was moving against Gabriel’s stomach, his hard cock pressing and retreating in a steady rhythm. “Will it hurt?”

Gabriel nipped gently at his neck. “No. When I do it, it feels good. You’ll mark me in return.”

“Okay.” His motions were becoming more urgent.

“Gonna enter you now. Don’t worry. It will feel so good.”

Lex nodded, and Gabriel took a deep breath. This was the moment for him.

_You can do it._

Right. Sam had confidence in him, even if he was lacking it himself. But this was Lex, who would never hurt him like Asmodeus had. However, he did need to caution Lex on one thing. “Lex, baby?”

“Yeah.”

“Be careful if you grab my ass, okay. That’s a trigger for me. Not too close to my hole, okay?”

Lex opened his eyes, worry in their amber depths. “If you can’t do this…”

“No, little one. It’s fine. Just...be careful with that, okay.”

Lex gave him a smile, the most real one since they’d brought him back. “You’re an… You’re my archangel. You can do this.”

Gabriel had to close his eyes briefly against the rush of emotion brought on by those words. “Yes. I can. Thank you, Lex.” Before he could lose his nerve, he reached out to Sam for strength and slowly started to enter Lex.

Lex tensed up at first, but then relaxed as Gabriel leaned forward to kiss him, distracting him with lips and tongue. Lex grew harder between them, and Gabriel slid in another little bit. This time he didn’t tense up, and Gabriel moved a little farther in. He was past the first ring of muscle now.

“You okay, Lex?”

“Yeah,” came the slightly breathless response.

“You’re doing great.” He slid in a little at a time, and Lex stayed calm and relaxed the whole time.

Finally, he was all the way in, and he gave himself a moment to appreciate how damned good it felt. It had been too long since he’d done this.

_Well done._

Sam let his arousal travel along the bond, and Gabriel gasped a little at the intensity of it.

“You okay, Gabe?” Lex asked, his tone a mix of concern and need.

“Yeah. Sam’s...uh...enjoying himself along with us, and I’m getting bleedback along the bond.”

Lex actually gave a small chuckle at that and pressed up against Gabriel.

“Okay if I move now? That’s where this gets good.”

“Yeah.”

Lex nodded. Gabriel could tell from his expression that he was processing all the new sensations.

The angel carefully slid out and back in, angling himself to hit his lover’s prostate. Lex closed his eyes and let out a long “ohhhhhh.”

“That’s it. Like that, don’t you?”

He moved again, and heard Lex’s strangled, “Yes.”

Gabriel established a rhythm, moving carefully, aiming to hit Lex’s prostate on every thrust. He reached between them. Lex was completely hard and leaking. His eyes were closed, and he was letting out a near constant stream of “ohs,” “ahhs” and “yeses.”

That was all good. Gabriel concentrated on stroking Lex in time with his own thrusts, focused on him and not on his apprehension, which he was just managing to hold at bay. However, it wasn’t long before Lex’s sounds got louder and less coherent. He loved that part and it helped ground him in the moment, leaving the past behind, hopefully for good.

Lex was gripping his back, obviously being careful where he was putting his hands. “Gabriel!” he gasped finally. “Oh, yeah...that’s…”

Gabriel stroked him more firmly. His own orgasm was approaching, but he thought he could hold off a little longer. “Go ahead, Lex. It’s okay, I got you.”

And then he felt Lex spasm around him along with a warm wetness between them. Gabriel let himself slide over the edge too, keeping just enough awareness to gentle Lex through the aftershocks.

Lex relaxed, and Gabriel finished and let himself lie on top of Lex for a moment before asking. “Still okay?”

It didn’t surprise him that Lex started crying. He’d been expecting that reaction, and Gabriel held him tight, using grace to maintain his erection and stay inside him. “Going to bond you now, if that’s okay?”

Around his sobs, Lex managed a weak, “Yes.”

Gabriel nuzzled along his neck again, deciding that Lex’s right side was going to be his. Sam could have the other. He found the correct spot, gathered his grace around him, reached for the grace in Lex’s chest, following it to his future mate’s soul. He wrapped them all together, opened his mouth, and bit down, hard enough to leave a mark.

Lex’s back arched, and he came again.

The bond exploded into life around them. Gabriel could feel everything from Lex: sorrow, pain, despair but also mixed in was love, wonder and...hope? He was glad to see that.

“Gabriel?” His voice was choked. “Is this?”

Gabriel shifted so he was holding Lex tight, sending love, encouragement and strength. “Yeah, Lex. This is what the bond is like.”

Suddenly Lex was crying again, but in wonderment and amazement mostly.

_You’ll never be alone again. I promise._

“Will it always be like this?”

“Yes, or better. I’ve not got it at full strength now. I didn’t want to overwhelm you. Plus, I haven’t brought Sam into it yet. I’ll do that once you’re used to this a little bit.”

He was, however, sharing it all with Sam through their side of the bond.

_I want to be there._

Gabriel considered for a moment. Sam sent back his insistence.

_All right. But bring Griff. I don’t want him to be alone._

_Is that wise? We don’t want him to be uncomfortable._

_I’ll control my arousal if you can keep yours under wraps, my mate._

He felt Sam’s laugh at that and knew his mate was on his way, carrying Griff.

He turned his attention back to Lex and ran his hand repeatedly through his hair while he held him tight against his chest. “You’re okay. Sam’s coming. We got you, bond mate.”

He felt Lex’s mingled disbelief and delight at the term. “Yes, Lex. You’re my mate. And Sam’s. We’re all together now.”

“I don’t...This can’t be real.”

“It is, Lex. It’s real. Now and forever. Want to mark me back?”

“I guess?”

Gabriel gently moved Lex’s mouth to his collarbone, on the left side. “Right there. Just like I did to you.”

“I’ll hurt you.”

“Did I hurt you?”

“No. It...felt...amazing.”

“Which is how it will feel for me.” He traced Sam’s mark on his other side. “Trust me. I know.”

Lex opened his mouth, breathing in the scent of his new mate, carefully positioned his teeth and bit down. It wasn’t quite hard enough, but that didn’t surprise Gabriel. It had taken a few tries for Sam to get the hang of it too. However, it still felt good, and he shared the sensation with Lex. “There. Now I’m yours too.”

Lex started sobbing again, burying his face in his mate’s neck, and Gabriel sent steady pulses of love down the bond. He was well used to the bond by now, but having a third was new and fresh to him, and he closed his eyes, feeling it along with Lex.

Sam entered just then, carrying Griff. The tall man settled the sleeping man on the bed, up against Lex’s back. Then he stripped out of his jeans and wrapped his long arms around both Lex and Griff. “Hey, Lex. I’m here too. I love you, Lex. Glad to have you with us.”

Gabriel noted the shift in the bond. “He’s asleep.”

“Just my luck,” Sam whispered. “When are you going to link us together?”

“Tomorrow, I think, depending on how he is when he wakes up.”

“Want to put some clothes on the two of you? In deference to Griff?”

Gabriel had forgotten. He let go of Lex with one hand just long enough to snap a t-shirt and boxers on the both of them. “Thanks. Good idea.”

_How are you doing?_

He had to drag his attention away from Lex long enough to answer. _Okay, I think. I got through the sex._

_I felt how hard that was for you. You did so well, mate._

Gabriel allowed Sam’s pride and love to wash over him. Sam’s hand rubbed one of Lex’s arms.

_We almost lost him,_ Gabriel sent. He shuddered as he remembered how close they’d come. If Griff hadn’t been able to find him...

_But Griff did find him. We brought him back._

_Yeah._

Gabriel held on tight to Lex. The bond was just minutes old, but it was already precious to him.

_You gonna stay the night with us?_ Sam asked.

_Of course. You think I’m letting him go anytime soon?_

He enjoyed Sam’s soft laugh through the bond. _No, I don’t suppose you will. And I understand. Not sure I want to either. Of course, first you’d have to let me get close enough to hold him._

Griff was so thoroughly between Sam and Lex that the big man could do little more than put a hand on his shoulder.

_Tomorrow. You can hold him tomorrow. For tonight, he’s mine._

_Fine, then. I’m going to crash. Between that vampire nest and dealing with all this, I’m beat._

Gabriel sent soothing thoughts at both his mates. Lex settled more deeply in his arms and Sam drifted off.

Gabriel lay awake the rest of the night. He wasn’t tired enough to need to sleep, and he didn’t want to miss a single minute of his time with his new mate.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally made it to the end and back to Lex POV. It was so weird being out of his head for so long in a story focused so much on him.
> 
> Thank you for reading. Yes, there is more coming in this Verse. As soon as I can write it!

When Lex awoke, he was warm and comfortable, sandwiched between two other people. Terri and Stiles? Had he finally managed to get back into the djinn dream with them?

Then he felt the bond, and everything came rushing back to him.

“Shit, Gabe,” he whispered, sensing the person on the other side of him--Sam?--was asleep. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

But he had meant it, hadn’t he? As amazing as the bond was—and now that he was waking up, it was amazing—he still wanted to be with Terri and Stiles. Had the djinn really messed him up that badly?

_It’s fine,_ Gabriel said. And wow! Wasn’t that weird to hear him in his head. Completely different from the memorium hunt where he’d “heard’ Griff in his head. This was softer and more controlled.

_It should be. I’ve got a lot more experience than he does._

_Uh, yeah,_ he tried.

_Well done, bond mate!_ came back, accompanied by approval.

_But I’m still sorry. About...well...about wanting to be with them. I should only be wanting this now, I know._

He felt a hesitation from Gabriel and wondered if he’d said something wrong. This was still new to him, and he was afraid he’d manage to fuck it up in some way.

_NO. You can’t mess this up. No, I was trying to decide if I wanted to share something with you. And I think I will._

Lex’s awareness was suddenly somewhere else. He was surrounded by so many other...angels? Why was he surrounded by angels?

_This is what Heaven used to be like. Before my brother decided to mess everything up._

Lex watched and felt. He was part of a group of hundreds? More? All in perfect love and fellowship. He wasn’t alone and would never be alone as long as he had his brothers and sisters with him. It was warm and wonderful, and he longed to have it. But a moment later, it was gone, the bonds broken, and he was alone and bereft. He just managed to stifle the gasp at the sudden loss.

_Those were my angels. The ones assigned to me at the moment of their creation. We were all linked, and I was never alone. I always had them with me. Then I had to leave Heaven because I couldn’t bear what Lucifer was doing. I broke the bindings and fled to the pagans. I’ve never had that back again. I can’t have it back again. But I want it. Every day. I want it._

Lex thought he got it. _So I may never stop wanting Terri and Stiles? Is that what you’re saying?_

_Quite possibly. But it does get easier._ Warmth flowed along the bond, and Lex closed his eyes, just letting himself feel it. _This may never replace what you had in the dream. Yes, the djinn managed to give you exactly what you wanted and made it real for you. But this can be good. It can fill some of the hole inside, if you let it._

Lex considered. _Is this why you wanted me? One wasn’t enough? I mean, not that two can replace what you had, but two is better than one?_

Gabriel’s laugh was soft and sad in his head. _No, two can never replace that, but yes, you do help. It’s not the only reason I wanted you. I wanted you for you, Lex, but I feel less alone with two._

Lex burrowed his face deeper in Gabriel’s chest. Wanting to be closer, to be a part of his mate, even though it wasn’t possible. Love flowed like honey and chocolate down the bond, soothing and warming him. He let himself feel it. Let it shut down, at least for a moment, the part of his brain that was always thinking and analyzing. It made him good at his job, but it wasn’t really the right thing in the moment.

He didn’t know how long he lay there, warm in Gabriel’s arms, another solid body at his back. Finally, he realized something was missing. _Where’s Sam? I feel you, but not Sam._

_I didn’t bring him in right away. I wanted you to get used to this before I overwhelmed you. Do you want him now? He’s just starting to wake up._

_Yes, please._

Lex felt a twisting in the bond, and then there was a second. It took his breath away for a moment, and he felt Gabriel sending, _Breathe, little monkey._ Along with that sending came the image of Lex at the computer, his fingers moving on the keyboard with quick facility, just like a monkey.

_That’s why you call me that?_

_Yes! Because you are clever like a monkey. And cute._

Lex felt his face heat. He’d never thought of himself as cute.

A large warm hand gripped his shoulder. _But you are cute, Lex._

_Sam?_

_The same._

The big hunter’s thoughts were quicksilver with humor. Lex liked it. But then he realized something. The person next to him had his back to him. So if it were Sam, how had he gripped him like he had while facing away from him?

_Who is on the other side of me?_

_Griff,_ came the amused sending from Gabriel.

_Why is Griff in bed with us?_

Both Sam and Gabriel went still in the bond.

_What happened to him?_

Sam answered. _Last night was rough on him. He had a seizure when he was overwhelmed by the emotion from you. We didn’t want to leave him alone._

Oh shit! Griff had seized? Lex scrambled to turn over to face his partner, who was just starting to shift and roll over. Lex grabbed him and pulled him close.

“Oh Griff! I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”

His partner made a surprised sound, and Lex loosened his grip a bit, letting the man pull back to look at him. Griff’s eyes were sunken and his face too pale. Also, he smelled like booze. Had he been drunk?

“Apparently someone thought it was a good idea to get me drunk,” Griff said, his voice rough and still a bit slurred.

“What?” Lex was completely confused.

Gabriel shifted behind him and sat up. “Okay, that admittedly was not one of my better ideas, in hindsight.”

“Ya think?” Griff said, closing his eyes and letting his head rest on Lex’s chest. “I have no idea what you thought you were doing with that.”

“I thought it would numb your psychic senses so if Lex got ‘loud’ you wouldn’t hear it.”

Griff made a humphing noise. “Right. And all it did was make me lose control of my ability to shield. I have no idea what you did to my partner, but he screamed so loud, and I don’t really know what happened next, but I just know it hurt. Like you have no idea how much that hurt.”

“You had a seizure,” Sam said, his tone matter of fact.

“Is that what that was? So help me, Gabriel, if you ever try to get me drunk again, I’ll find a way to stab you with your own archangel blade.”

Lex managed to keep his sudden giggle just in the bond.

“Considering my blade seems to like you quite a bit,” Gabriel said, his humor less well hidden. “That might be a real threat.”

“It was intended as such.” Then Griff opened his eyes. They were red-rimmed, and he still looked tired, but there was also affection and relief in them. “Glad to have you back, partner. You had me worried there for a while.”

Lex hugged him. “I’m sorry.”

Griff awkwardly patted his back. “None of that. If anyone’s to blame, it’s that damned djinn, and Gabriel went positively Biblical on it, so as long as you don’t go out to find another one, we’re all good.”

Lex didn’t want to admit that, in fact, he still had a faint urge to do just that. However, both of his mates sent him love and support, and he was able to say, “No. I won’t do that again.”

_We’ll make sure you don’t feel the need to_, came Sam’s solid mental voice, so much like the actual man.

“Good.” Griff pulled back, and Lex let him go. “I’m heading back to my room to sleep this off.”

“You want me to heal you?” Gabriel asked.

Griff crawled out of bed and walked, his steps slightly unsteady, for the door. He waved vaguely in Gabriel’s direction. “Nah. I’m kind of enjoying it. Haven’t been buzzed in a long time. Probably shouldn’t do it again for a while, so I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.”

Lex watched him go and finally noticed the room. “This isn’t at all what Dean thought it looked like.” Then he added. “Griff’ll be okay, right?”

Gabriel reached out to pull him back against his chest. Sam moved closer and leaned against him. “Yeah,” the angel said. “He’ll be fine. I’m keeping an ‘eye’ on him. I won’t let him run into too many walls.” He kissed the top of Lex’s head. “And as for this room, Dean has too little imagination and watches way too much porn. Sorry, Sam,”

Sam shook his head. “You’re not wrong. And now my brother is trying to get Cas to watch with him. Not that Cas hasn’t watched it before.” Lex suddenly had the entire story of “the pizza man” sent to him.

“Seriously?” Lex asked after he’d sorted it all out.

“Yes.”

Gabriel was chortling. “He never told me that one.”

“I think he was pretty embarrassed about it once he learned a little more about humanity.” Sam was smiling, but the smile morphed into a wink and a friendly leer. “I think it was my turn with Lex next.” He touched his neck, where Gabriel’s mark lay. “I’ve only got one.”

Lex’s cock gave an interested twitch at the idea.

“And Gabriel, you were going to give me some pointers?” Sam continued.

Gabriel gave an enthusiastic nod, and the next few hours passed in a pleasant haze of love and pleasure. Sam topped Lex, and they each marked the other. Lex learned that the marks stayed sensitive for a while, and Gabriel used that to his advantage. Lex and Sam both brought off their angel, at least twice each, and by the time they collapsed in a sated heap, Lex had lost track of how many times they had collectively orgasmed. Archangel healing powers had surprising uses.

Lex found himself forgetting Terri and Stiles during most of it, and when he drifted again, he was content.

The bond was good.

***

Neither Sam nor Gabriel let Lex out of their sight for long over the next several days. They did spend plenty of time in their bedroom, but Griff wasn’t forgotten either. He and Lex spent time in the library, Lex upgrading his bots yet again, which Griff rolled his eyes at, but Lex insisted there was always room for improvement.

Gabriel explained the nature of the bond to Lex and that he’d gain strength and speed above what the grace he already had gave him. “You’ll heal quicker too, assuming Cas or I aren’t around to heal you.”

That all sounded good, but Gabriel’s last bit of information, while positive, raised some concerns for Lex.

“You’ll also age more slowly,” Gabriel told him.

“How much more slowly?” Lex asked, lying in the angel’s lap, enjoying the feel of Gabriel’s hands moving through his hair.

“I honestly don’t know,” Gabriel answered. “I’m the first archangel to bond a human. The bonded mate of an angel like Cas would be maybe twice normal? My best guess is that you and Sam will get that and more. If you don’t both hit three hundred, I’ll be surprised.”

Lex was shocked. He was close to turning 41, and to think he’d get another 250 years, or maybe more, was almost too much to consider.

“You’ll be pretty healthy until the end too. You’ll slow down eventually and not be able to hunt anymore, but you should avoid major disease. One day, you’ll just start to wind down. Should be fast and pretty painless when it happens.” Gabriel had paused and then added. “You might go a little longer than Sam because of the grace you already have.”

Losing Sam? Lex shuddered at the thought. He’d been bonded for just a day, but he already loved both of his mates fiercely.

And then another thought came to him. “Griff?”

Gabriel nodded against him. “Yes. Griff will go before you. But he has my grace too, which will slow his aging. He might get an additional fifty, with a similar lack of decline until the end. But, no, he won’t live as long as you will.”

Lex had closed his eyes against the pain of that thought.

“It’s many years in the future,” Gabriel had said.

Lex knew that, but the thought still hurt.

***

All went fairly well until Griff had his first nightmare, post-bonding. He screamed loudly enough to be heard in Gabriel’s room, and Lex sat up, barely awake but already in motion.

Gabriel reached out an arm to stop him. “I can just bring him here.”

Sam’s eyes had opened, and he stopped in the middle of grabbing his gun out from under his pillow. Lex hadn’t realized that he kept it there while he slept.

“I’ll go to him,” Lex said. “It’s how we do it.”

Gabriel gave him a mournful look but then nodded. “Yeah. It’s probably what he’d be most comfortable with. But let him know he’s welcome here anytime. If he lets me know he’s coming, I can make sure we’re all wearing clothes.”

Lex nodded his gratitude at the offer, especially since it reminded him to put on shorts and a t-shirt. He’d gotten into the habit of sleeping naked with his mates. Then he slipped out the door and down the hall to Griff’s room.

Knocking or announcing himself had never been a thing with them, so he just walked in. And stopped.

Griff had the blankets thrown back and his hand down his shorts.

“Shit! Griff. I’m sorry.” He started to back out of the room.

Griff groaned, removed his hand and said, “Fuck, Lex. Want to let a guy know you’re coming?”

Lex paused, still facing away from the bed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you’d be doing that. I’ll...uh...leave you alone then.” He started to leave, but Griff’s “Wait, no,” stopped him.

Lex heard the shame in his partner’s voice, and he turned back, internally shrugged and sat down on the bed. “It’s no biggie, Griff. I mean, I certainly did plenty of that before...well…”

“Before you and your new mates started going at it like bunnies, you mean?”

Lex felt his cheeks heat up. “Uh. Yeah.”

Griff sighed and held out an arm in obvious invitation. Lex felt a bit weird, but if his partner wanted him, he’d be there for him. He settled on his back and drew Griff close, his partner’s head on his chest.

They lay there in silence for a while, Lex vaguely aware that Sam and Gabriel were starting to kiss.

_Guys, keep it down, okay? I really don’t need a hard on right now._

The bond narrowed to the point where Lex was still aware of his mates but not aware enough to feel exactly what they were up to.

_Thanks, Gabe._

Griff finally spoke. “I was trying to relax enough to get back to sleep without bothering you. Guess I yelled louder than I thought?”

“Yeah, it was pretty loud. Had Sam reaching for his pistol. The one I didn’t know he slept with under his pillow.”

“Sorry about that. I didn’t want you to have to get up. Figured you were all cozy with them.”

Lex hugged Griff. “It’s okay, man. Nightmare duty is still a thing. You need me, just let me know. And Gabe said you’re welcome in our room too. If you let him know you’re coming, he’ll make sure we’re all wearing something.”

“But I shouldn’t need you.” Lex didn’t like the way Griff didn’t even chuckle at the clothing comment.

“I’m still your partner. Being bonded to the guys doesn’t change that.”

“Thanks. But I’ll still try...uh...other ways to get back to sleep.” A moment later. “Wasn’t working this time. Sometimes it doesn’t.”

“What did you dream about?” Lex asked.

There was a long pause before Griff finally said, “You. In the dream we didn’t get to you before the djinn drained you.”

Lex couldn’t stop the involuntary shudder at his partner’s words. “Damn. I’m still sorry for everything I put you all through.”

Now it was Griff’s turn to hug him. “Don’t think about that. It’s over. You’ve got Gabe and Sam, and I still have my hunting partner. It’s all good.”

Lex knew he was right, but he still couldn’t shake the guilt he still felt.

“You up for a hunt soon, you think?” Griff asked.

Lex appreciated the topic change. “I think so.”

“Assuming your mates let you out of their sight?” Lex heard the smile in Griff’s voice.

“They’ll have to sometime.” He realized he did want to go. He missed being out with Griff. Even mated, he wasn’t going to stop Hunting with his partner.

Griff yawned. “Maybe your bot will find something tomorrow.”

Lex hoped so. He thought he was ready to get back to work.

Griff sighed and turned to put his back to Lex, their usual sleeping position. Lex snuggled up to him. He still missed Terri and Stiles. The urge to be with them again never quite left him, but he had new mates and his partner was doing well. Sam and Gabriel both sent surges of love his way, and he closed his eyes and started to drift off.

Just before he fell asleep, Lex thought maybe he’d finally found somewhere to belong.


End file.
